Summary

Linda Bloom, LCSW and Charlie Bloom, MSW have been married since 1972. Trained as psychotherapists and relationship counselors, they have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975.

They have lectured and taught at learning institutes throughout the USA, on how to better our relationships. They have offered seminars throughout the world, including China, Japan, Indonesia, Denmark, Sweden, India, Brazil, and many other locations.

Having previous interviewed Linda, Charlie’s wife, I thought it would be a nice way to get some male perspective on relationships.

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A conversation about lessons of life including the need to become more aware, developing one’s authenticity and the need for support. I also ask some sticking questions around my own relationships such as dealing with my spite/anger when I am feeling a lack of love and dealing with my sexual drive.

Key Take Outs

• On making mistakes. You are not alone! We all make mistakes and often we make mistakes continually. No matter how much we know of what we want to achieve, what’s right and wrong, and all the information that is at our finger tips we still make mistakes. The lessons are not in the information, they are in the behaviour and sometimes to make those changes we need support.
• Don’t believe everything you think. What you think is likely conditioned and relative to the stimulus that you are exposed. If you think about it one way to change your thoughts is to change your environment. If it is that easy what thoughts should be really listen to? Which are truth, which are assumptions, which should we base our decisions on?
• Enlightened self-interest. This is the act and need to do something that may stem from what seems a selfish need yet in the process it helps or provides values externally. An inwardly act may actually not only benefit one’s self but also others.
• Support and dependency. If you are constantly battling the same battles than perhaps its time to get some help. Through support you can learn from others that have had experiences that you too can learn from. Support gives encouragement and inspiration to help see you through to achievement.
• Why we use negative emotions when relationships become tough. Men particularly use negative emotions to help cover what they need to expose – their truth. This is because its fearful, it brings sadness and the unknown of how to deal with our vulnerability. Like any muscle the more often you expose it the stronger it will get – in this case the easier it will be to deal with negative emotions.
• Sex is good – talk about it. Although it has been scientifically proven to be beneficial for the health many relationships suffer in this department. Sex may also not be the direct cause rather just a symptom. If sex is lacking the first step is to both openly discuss it and find solutions.

Do you have any routines and rituals that you believe contribute to your success?

Charlie and Linda make it a daily practice to have 1 to 1 connection time. This is dedicated time when they focus 100% on one another.

What advice would you give to your 20-year-old self?

Be patient and trust yourself.

Charlie’s interpretation of success

If at his memorial service people would say the kind of things about him that he’d wish hear. Refer to quote.

What is your number one productivity advice?

Live a balanced life. Don’t overdo everything, even ambitions. Make sure your needs are meed and become clear about your own purpose and your own truth. You are the driver of your life.

What advice would you give someone that needing/wanting to make change?

Change is gradually. We all desire the overnight breakthrough change but usually this only comes after the accumulation of incremental change.

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Quick round questions

Favourite Food

Fruit

Favourite Leisure Activitiy

Read

Favourite book(s)

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing Bronnie Ware

Any book by Stephen Lavine

Quote

“When you were born, you cried and all of those around you smiled. When you die, may it be so that you smile and all those around you cry.”

What does living life with passion and purpose mean?

I awake up everyday feeling exited about what I have to look forward to without any dread.

How to find Charlie and other links

You can find out more about Charlie and Linda at their webstie here – Bloom Work. 

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