Summary

As a former family law attorney, Erik describes himself as someone who’s “been through a thousand divorces and still believes in love.” Ushering couples through divorce wasn’t easy for Erik, a romantic from birth, but it turned out to be the ideal medium through which to understand the entire life cycle of a relationship. As a result, Erik has a unique, real-world comprehension of what makes one marriage thrive and another fall apart.

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During his time as an attorney, Erik racked up a few accolades: He founded a successful law journal, built the largest and fastest-growing family law firm in the Bay Area, was named a Super Lawyer three years running, and garnered
a 10-star Avvo rating.

He also teamed up with a psychologist friend to lead premarital courses for couples, hoping
to give them the skills they’d need to stay out of his office. Ultimately, his calling to help couples build healthy relationships superseded his legal career, and he decided to dedicate himself full-time to creating a place couples could go for information, inspiration, and a big dose of truth. That’s when Together was born.

In this episode we go deep and start of the conversation with some greater life questions like “who are we?” and “what’s it all for?” We then talk on relationships with reflection on mine and some practical tips to help us strengthen them. Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

Key Take Outs

• Are you living life to avoid pain? This is what drives most of us in life but is it healthy? Tyring to constantly avoid pain is like continually running from our fears. You may be able to outrun them for a while but they will go on existing until you confront them. It can also push us in directions that will not have any greater meaning to our life and may even leave us with regret come the end. A thought to ponder.
• Life is an experience but what are you going to do with it. If life has no greater purpose than what is it all for? This thought may leave you feeling like “why bother” or it may actually inspire to live more fully. At the end of the day whatever this is it’s an experience and one that we can feel. How will you maximise your experience?
• Allow life to unfold, don’t try force it, in doing so things become greater. Like Erik I was always try to force life to happen. Stuck in the chase, trying to avoid pain and really heightening my stress and dissatisfaction with life. Then I let go of control and the more I do this the better I am at it. Just allow things to unfold as they are meant to.
• Communicate – really communicate. We all are told to communicate but how well do we and why do we avoid it? The truth is that many of us suck at this part of a relationship and is why we can become so unhappy. Sit down and share feelings without judgement, know the greater intention and see what may unfold.
• The 5 for 5 practical relationship tip. Further to that above you might try this technique. Share 5 thoughts or issues each taking one turn at a time. One person shares while the other allows and then you swap.
• What makes the other person in a relationship feel greater will ultimately be the thing that takes you to the next level.

Do you have any routines and rituals that you believe contribute to your success?

I ask myself the question, What’s True?

What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?

You are not as important as you think you are but you are perfect just as you are.

What is the meaning of success?

Peace and happiness.

Quick round questions

Favourite Food

Sushi

Favourite Leisure Activitiy

Hiking

Favourite book(s)

Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life by Stanley Siegel

Quote

“If you don’t ask it’s an automatic no.”

Do we all have a why?

Yes & no! Our identity that we think is in control does not have a why and its definition is in flux trying to chase it would be fruitless. There may be a greater why that we cannot quite understand that is along the lines of God knowing himself.

What does living with passion and purpose mean?

Those feelings arise from allowing life to unfold as it is without the need of getting in the way.

How to find Erik Newton

Check out his The Together Website and Podcast here. 

If you are interested in finding more freedom, fulfilment and happiness in your life take the opportunity to jump on the Discovery Call. Valued at $250, this is a one on one coaching session to help you define your hidden why and discover the action steps to getting your there.