So I have heard it often and as often enough felt slight guilty and sometimes even overwhelmingly so that when I be kind to myself, and focus on me as a priority, I feel selfish

Is this attitude wrong? Many would argue that it is. But the truth is how can you ever help others, lend a hand, if your own back yard is messy.

How can one endeavour to make success in his or her life if they themselves are not ready for it?

It would be like building a sky scrapper but for the base you lay some pavers on some mud in the middle of a tidal lake. The building will likely topple.

How many times have you jumped on a flight and during the safety briefing they say “when the oxygen masks drop don’t take a breath yourself first but rather give it to the person next to you”? Never!

We are told to make sure we are ok and in the right frame to do anything before helping the others around us.

This is true for life more than anything else.

Do you invest in yourself? Do you take care of your body, mind and spirit?

I am not a guru but am certainly learning quickly how to respect myself.

Here are 4 reasons why a focus on choosing yourself first is important.

Health and Energy

Taking care of your body is important and sometimes can be a little selfish. You must choose to eat the right foods and exercise before all else.

If work is demanding all your time that it forces you to skip breakfast, eat rubbish foods on the run and miss out on the visit to the gym then perhaps you should quit!

Without correct health you will lack energy and than all that you do will be less effective and efficient than it otherwise could have been.

You may have bursts of success in the short term when you neglect your health and you choose, unselfishly, to give your time to others but in the long term it is unstainable.

Learn and Educate

Put time aside that you can learn and self-educate. Don’t feel guilty of this simply pleasure.

By spending time reading or undertaking a course on Udemy I have to selfishly not do other things like clean the cars, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, but that seriously can all wait.

The importance to educate and become a life long learner is sure to only help those around you. You will notice over a short period of time you will actually start adding more value in life.

By being a social reject and declining and invite to a party or dinner function or perhaps choosing not to sit in front of the television with the family in favour of going to the office to study is not selfish. It is genius.

Happiness and Love

When you selfishly do things for yourself, guess what, you create a higher level of happiness. Why? Simply because you are doing things for you, things that make you feel better.

When you are happy you can give more love. Angry people give more hate. Happy people give more love.

We know that happy workers are more productive workers and companies are now seriously searching for ways to create happier work environments and in doing so reaping the rewards of a better business.

So don’t feel bad by taking the afternoon off work, “wagging it”, and going for surf or getting a massage. It will only make you feel better and in return allow you to give back more.

Values and Giving

We so often forget what our own values are as we progress through life. We start to put the values of others first.

Have you ever had a job where you simply conformed to the company’s rules and values, yet they didn’t quite sit well with you?

Being congruent with your own self-values and beliefs is an absolute essential in living and sustaining a life of success. You must be selfish and hold true to your values.

By doing so you will be able to give back much more in life than the opposite. This is because when you operate with consistency with who you are and what you believe, your energy and passion towards everything you do will be ten fold.

You see I decided sometime ago that I wanted success. I didn’t at first know what this meant. I thought having shit loads of money would bring me everything I desired including happiness and freedom, two things I have always valued.

As I grew older I listened to others around me. I did what society thought to be correct, the path for us all, university, getting a job, getting paid.

I did things the provided me with more instant gratification, things like drugs, partying, having fun but didn’t realise these things were neither beneficial for me long term or damaging to my body, mind and spirit.

As the years have passed I have become more attuned with what’s important to me. I have let go of what it is that others want and focused a little more on what I want.

I have started to learn and invest in myself. I back myself fully now. I keep searching. I keep failing and finding obstacles. I continue to challenge myself. I continue to challenge life.

I persevere and persist. I love and do things with passion.

I am now quickly realising that in focusing better on myself means I can provide more value to others. In believing in myself, which has only been made possible by focusing just on me, I am becoming better for all those around me.

The best thing is that I am discovering my hidden why. I am discovering my purpose.

So don’t let others tell you focusing on yourself is selfish because it is simply not.

Not sure how appropriate this quote is but hey I thought I would include it, it’s my blog after all, and it somehow resinates with me.

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control and at times am hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst than you don’t deserve me at my best.” Marilyn Monroe