Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by By Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

“Life is never perfect. We all live some form of Option B. Option A is not available, so let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.” Sheryl Sandberg

What to do when there is no option A? You make the most of option B. As Sheryl states in the opening chapter, “life is not perfect, we all live some form of option B. This book will help you kick the shit out of it.”

No matter what paths we follow, in life we will meet struggle, face adversity, be challenged and receive a fair share of set-backs. Maybe some of us more than others. Whatever the case we have to find the strength to carry on forward because if we don’t rather than us making the most of life, it will make the most of us.

To do this, we have to develop and practice resilience. Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. As Adam and Sheryl highlight in this book, resilience isn’t a limited talent or personality but rather a muscle we can build. We do this through the support of others and by searching deep within. It is available to all of us, and for that reason, there are practices and steps we can all use to help our recovery.

This book is a story of learning resilience that Sheryl faced after the tragedy of losing her husband. Having never lost someone close to me it is hard to relate, but Sheryl does a fantastic job of opening up to the real personal experience she went through.

Loss of a loved one is one kind of hardship we will all face at some point in life however it is not the only obstacle that can hurt our progress and quality of life. There is physical and mental abuse, sexual harassment, assault, rape, torture, injury, violence, illness, career disruption, personal loss of possession or anything else you can think of that can knock you on your arse in life and disrupt your progression. They are all hard to deal with but with the right tool belt, we all can manage our way through them.

I like how Sheryl shares so openly her journey with the loss of her husband. Having never dealt with such loss myself it makes me come to appreciate and think about for all the relationships I have. Not that I am not grateful but just aware of how easy it is to take our relationships for granted.

Sheryl shares many of lessons she has learned that helped her with her loss that we can all take away to help to build our resilience muscles. She combines, with the support of Adam research skills in sharing stories of others that have had lived through a variety of different circumstances and experiences to and despite the struggle, once again find joy in life.

What I found most insightful were the three P’s that Sheryl discovered as she went in search of information to help her recover from her tragedy. The three P’s were presented by the psychologist Martin Seligman as elements the block people from recovery.

The three P’s are personalisation, pervasiveness, and permanence. I suggest you read the book to gain further depth in understanding each one of these but let me explain briefly the three.

Personalisation is our attachment to the cause or consequence of the undesirable situations or circumstances we face even when it may have been entirely external to any personal control or responsibility.

Pervasiveness is a belief that what has happened will infect other or all aspects of our life. It, of course, does affect our life but it is up to us how greatly we allow it to.

And permanence is the idea that whatever the setback we face will be here to stay. The thing that many of us don’t desire and find it hard to accept is change yet I think change or that fact that nothing is permanent is the best aspect of life especially as it relates to any level of suffering we may be trying to manage. Like everything this moment too will pass.

Life is nothing without resistance yet we are told we should avoid resisting change and negative occurrences in our lives for our benefit – easier said than done. We need to embrace the setbacks in life and in that we can better understand them when resisting them we cannot. Having an equipped tool belt of resilience skills can help us not resist but bounce back through accepting. This book may assist you to develop your resilience a little further.

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If this book sounds of interest you can purchase Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy here.

Please leave your thoughts, comments & questions below.

Peace, passion and purpose…

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