Trap Tales: Outsmarting the 7 Hidden Obstacles to Success by David M. R. Covey and Stephan M. Mardyks

“The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection.” Henri Nouwen

In this book, the authors share seven traps that people from all walks of life deal with every day. After reading this book, you will be an expert “Trapologist.” Well, that is not entirely accurate because like anything it is one thing to read and learn new information and something else to act on it.

You’ve got to love the catchy names authors create to suit the content of their work – Trapologist. It sold me!

Anyway, it’s a good read with some critical messages. For some of you the information will be nothing new, and for others, you will benefit from a lesson or two in this book, including myself.

It is written in a story format and tells a tale of a couple that goes through a breakup due to a disregard for the seven hidden obstacles that many of us may face in life. Shortly after the debacle the husband, Alex, finds himself on the planned family holiday without his wife but with his two kids, Laura and Michael. He had a lot of time to deliberate on what went wrong and, fortunately, was not alone.

While at Hawaii he bumps into an old friend Victoria. She is a wise, green smoothly drinking, yoga lover who has coincidently recently written about the seven hidden obstacles to success. The exact lessons that Alex needs to hear. These lessons form the structure of this book.

At first, the story was a little bit annoying. I am so used to reading non-fiction, personal development books written with a serious tone. To me, this initially gave the book a feel lacking professionalism. It reminded me of the book by Robert Kiyosaki – Rich Dad Poor Dad. However, after the initial shock or hurdle, I really got into it. The story sucks you in!

On the up-side, it also makes it for an easy read and puts the lessons into relatable context. And in honesty when the story comes together at the end and Alex and his wife, Sam, get back together I was almost brought to tears of joy. I am too easy!

Beyond the story, the content is valuable. It is not in-depth research and scientific analysis but rather straightforward wisdom. Highlighting the traps many of us might encounter in our lifetime.

They describe a trap as being seductive, deceptive, sticky and limiting. Think about the pitfalls in your life that might represent these elements. The first one that comes to my mind is our jobs. We begin our career lured by the dangling carrots and promise for riches yet after some time it becomes sticky and hard to escape. It limits our ability to live meaningful lives.

The seven traps that the authors present are: The relationship trap, the money trap, the focus trap, the change trap, the learning trap, the career trap, and the purpose trap.

In the final segment of this book, the authors present the key take-outs in the Trapologist Toolbox. If you wished to skip the story and just learn the content, I’d suggest you could jump directly to the end. However, if you are new to this information, the context created in the story may be of benefit.

Here are the critical points for each of the seven traps.

Relationships. We often jump into relationships with a sense of togetherness but soon after we retreat into our patterns of beliefs and behaviours. The authors describe this as operating as a married single. Marriage requires an intertwinement of one another – a duality approach. Therein lays the challenge.

Money. Debt is not cool, and I am beginning to believe that there is no such thing as good debt which is a change in what I used to think. Money is an excellent tool but we use it unwisely and for the most part, incorrect purposes.

Focus. We spend our time worrying, doing, thinking and partaking in the unessential and relatively unimportant things in life –every day. It puts us in the trap of overwhelm, stress and inadequate consumption of time and energy. It pulls us away from everything that gives life meaning.

Change. Don’t try to resist change. Everything changes but we are continually working to cushion ourselves from it. As the authors highlight that within the change trap, we find ourselves in procrastination that kills growth and transformation. It is hard. We often wish to avoid it. And with a desire to be perfect we usually don’t confront it. The lesson being – change it good!

Learning. Don’t put of life because of the fear of making mistakes. We all make mistakes. It is how we learn, grow and progress. Take personal responsibility for your errors and see them as chances for improvement not an indication of weak character.

Career. The four dimensions of a good job are, financial, ideas, passion and purpose. We want to be rewarded justly and even handsomely for our work. We wish for our ideas heard – this raises our sense of significance. Passion is essential for sustainability and improvement. And purpose – “Does what I do matter to me and anyone else?”

The final trap – Purpose. What we think, do, have and are must be measured with purpose. I think too often most of what we believe, do and have, lacks purpose. It is done only for surface level reasons. Do things for profound reasons. Do things with intent, integral to your values, and what matters. Remove the unessential.

I think these are lessons we could all utilise in life and reflect on at regular intervals however as I said in the beginning – the information we discover is as useful as the action we take on using it.

Coaching

If this book sounds of interest you can purchase Trap Tales: Outsmarting the 7 Hidden Obstacles to Success here.

Please leave your thoughts, comments & questions below.

Peace, passion and purpose…

Other books you may enjoy…

Further Reading and Resources 

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.

Coaching