Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown

Having listened to Brene Brown’s fantastic TED talk and then downloading the audio copy of The Power of Vulnerability I had to learn more. I was hooked, engaged and inspired. I’ve now just completed listening to the audio version of Daring Greatly and can safely say that my belly is full.

In Daring, Greatly Brene shares all that she has learnt about vulnerability. It is not only inspiring and insightful but also highly practical. Brene shares tool, tips and techniques of how we can all aim to be more vulnerable. Daring Greatly is about having the courage to show up every day as our authentic selves.

The need to belong is a fundamental human need. As Brene suggests, life needs to be less about fitting in and more about belonging, and we belong best when we show up as our authentic self. Belonging is about nourishing our relationships. When we provide others fulfilment, we become nourished. That assists us all in meeting one universal need – survival.

When our relationships are tight so many aspects of our lives fall into place. We develop a great sense of meaning, fulfilment and happiness. If you reflect on the current relationships in your life, ask yourself which ones are the strongest? Which give you the highest sense of joy? Then ask why? One thing I’ve realised those are usually the ones that I am more my authentic Self.

Belonging creates a sense of psychological safety. In this state, we are comfortable to thrive, and that is the power of vulnerability. Here is how Brene Brown describes vulnerability, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

If we are without a satisfactory level of psychological safety, we seem to have a natural tendency to avoid being vulnerable. According to Brene, we associate vulnerability to fear, shame and uncertainty. When we live in fear, shame or uncertainty, our behaviours are less conducive to a life of greater joy.

These behaviours are harmful and limiting. Fear and shame are emotions. Emotions drive behaviour. Obviously, we don’t enjoy negative feelings and emotions. When we experience these, we attempt to avoid them via activities aimed at numbing them. Drinking, drugs, unkindness, and anger to name just a few. The problem with this approach, in Brene’s words, “If you numb the dark you numb the light.”

If you consider the current social circles in your life and reflect on the ones that make you feel amazing and uplifted, you may see that in these relationships you are more vulnerable. Your authenticity can be readily observed. The reason why you feel like this is that you belong. Your psychological safety and basic social needs are being fulfilled.

Those groups in which you feel less comfortable is likely because you are less your natural self. And when we aren’t our authentic self, we behave less aligned and integral to who we are. I believe this inspires unauthentic behaviours. What does that mean? It means we do stuff that causes us friction and anxiety. And that is not good for our fear, shame or uncertainty. How could being uncomfortable be a positive thing? I believe that’s the power of vulnerability.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” Brene Brown

To move into a life of being comfortable with vulnerability and authenticity, we must harness compassion and empathy via a more significant state of awareness. Not only relevant towards others but also ourselves. We have to be kind towards ourselves and when we notice these negative states approach be aware and try understanding why. There is power in this.

Ask yourself these questions. What are the areas of your life where you feel shame? Where do you think you are not enough? Perhaps that is where we need to put our attention and effort and then try to find the tools to assist us in dealing with our vulnerability.

If we don’t feel like we are enough how is that going to play on what we do and how we live our lives? It can’t be a recipe for success always in the chase of more and never being accepting and even grateful for what is right here. Know that you are enough and then walk into the vulnerability. Watch how that allows us to flourish’s into becoming more as is the natural process of life.

Brene Brown describes taking courage to be comfortable with being venerable is all about developing wholeheartedness. The process of learning to feel how we feel and accepting that

Not drowning it!

Not hiding from it!

Not running away!

Nor being someone who we are not!

And not thinking we are not enough!

Knowing we are enough and use vulnerability as the power to live a full, free and happy life.

If this book sounds of interest you can purchase Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead here.

Please leave your thoughts, comments & questions below.

Peace, passion and purpose…

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