Life Mastery

My conversation with Sherry Fernandez discussing her book, Life Mastery, Personal Progression Toward an Infinite Potential. Sherry has lived an incredible journey having raised 6 kids, started her own fitness company, and becoming a great guide and coach for many on how to live a purposeful life. Sherry shares her story and guidance for us all in this interview. How to find daily motivation and purpose in everything we do. An awesome, inspiring conversation. Please enjoy!

Pick up a copy of her book, Life Mastery, here.

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It can be often that after a certain level of exerted efforts that we begin to feel entitled to certain things in life. All that we truly own is our thoughts and everything else is fleeting. Do we own our actions? We may confuse this as something we own too. We are gifted to have a mind. Yet, it can also haunt us and direct us in the wrong manner if not careful.

Today I felt entitled to something and frustrated because it was taken from me. It was never mine. It was out of my control. What was in my control was my past, present and future actions and these will only come about in having a good, well-trained, mind.

Perhaps better methods or a different approach could have been carried out to have more likely received that which I felt entitled. How would we know? Reflection is a habit to help us learn from these moments. It is my perception of the occurrence of events that will have an impact on my thoughts and consequent responses to any situation.

People will often do things that to an observer may seem unjustified or without reason. It will continue to appear this way for as long as we don’t seek to understand. If we just assume why things are or are not a particular way, we will never get far and we will continue to live life feeling entitled, feeling like we own these “things” in our life. We do not!

We need to try to avoid assumptions unless of course what we observe has no bearing on our purpose in which case we can just move on. Before we seek to point the finger externally as why we have nothing, we should practice pointing the finger inwardly. What could I have done differently? How do they feel? What could I have avoided? Rather than feeling frustrated by what we have missed out on or not gained, reflect and pay attention to what we can be grateful for. We are entitled to nothing other than the good use of the life we have been given.

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi

Good sleep is known when you awake naturally without interruption throughout the night. It is something truly to be grateful for. Good reinforcement to the way good health, discipline, and consistent routine pays off. A good reason for having a morning and nightly routine that works for you.

Good sleep comes from having good practice. A good practice is developed by ritual and guidance. Who should I look up to as my mentor or guide in life? Should our mentors be someone we know personally, or could it be someone we have never meet? Someone afar or someone that has long passed? Perhaps an author, speaker, or celebrity. And not the celebrity who is famed for no reason, but rather someone worth celebrating for good acts or deeds done.

It need be someone we would consider of good character a person who we admire and one of good nature. Someone whose footsteps we could see ourselves taking. This is not to disregard the like or admiration for oneself but rather so that we can continue on our journey of self-improvement – an important and continuing daily practice.

If we can choose a few to follow we can act as though they are with us at many moments in life, watching over us and guiding us appropriately. As Seneca highlights in one of his letters, we must pretend as if this person watches over our every move. It is difficult for someone to hide how they think, act, and speak when being watched. And even harder for us to do wrong or go against our will or good intentions. It will keep us on point. This is grand advice. It doesn’t mean we need to be unrelaxed or stressed but rather so that we always proceed with good intent. This is strengthening of character.

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi

Journals with Leigh Martinuzzi – Frustration

As I swam laps today, I thought about the previous day’s frustrations. I often feel that I am easily frustrated! This is improving. My frustrations arise when I am unable to or restricted to work on those tasks that bring me joy or give me purpose. This can be any task, whether it be for pleasure or for the purpose of giving my life the correct direction. 

I enjoy the process of daily routine. Following a process that I know if followed will bring sought results and that which I wish to achieve. A disruption to the good routine and process brings with its frustrations, for I am now off course. However, I remind myself to reflect. 

As we reflect upon our frustrations that we incur in life may we begin to understand why? It’s ok not to have perfect order in our daily affairs. These moments of change and disruption will pass. 

A break in routine is a great lesson in time. It creates awareness of our nature, though only if we allow it to. When we are derailed perhaps, we will awaken to the good reason for the interruption. Is there a reason for such things to occur? Perhaps we need to remove some obstacles. Perhaps we need to stop and rest. If there is a good reason for disruption accept it! Attempt to avoid allowing it to bring on frustration as this will only exacerbate the delay of progress. 

Manage it well. In doing so, let us be calm as we proceed. Relax! Breathe! Enjoy the moment these frustrations bring. Learn from them. For frustration is in the hands of the beholder and for that reason, a lack of or a failure to progress can only be our responsibility. There is no one else to blame for the prevention of success, achievement, or progress. We have the power to change anything! 

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi

Now and then I have felt that I lack good friendships. If that is the case I only have myself to blame. You must put in the effort to find friends. And friendships are solely about the true intent and desire to share life experiences and knowledge.

They must not be about self-gain, profit, or advancement for that is not what friendships are built upon. These types of friendships will likely depart quickly and without announcement. A loss of friendship, which regardless of the quality, will come, and will leave one feeling alone yet for what reason? The loss of true friendship may hurt more but, on both accounts, it is important to remind ourselves that nothing about friendship is a necessity. We must be at home with being alone and be content with ourselves.

And so, I wonder, am I content with myself? Mostly I feel I am, but like most, I still at times get lonely. Perhaps loneliness is simply boredom of oneself. Friendship, regardless of the time they last, is about sharing many good and healthy experiences with others. Every friend was once a stranger and friendships have only be built out of such experiences. So, if you are ever feeling lonely, find ways to have more wonderful experiences, with others and importantly with oneself.

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi

Many thoughts enter my head right now yet blurry are my eyes. Tired is my head. Cloudy are my thoughts. What do I summon to extrapolate on? I need the energy to find clarity. Rest is a must. However, discipline, a practice of trained behaviour, and strengthening one’s character will not be gained by taking the easy path. 

What if I just put in another forty percent? What if I just pushed on a little bit more? Dip my toe in the water, that is just enough. I rejoice as I muster the energy to push myself that little bit further. 

There are those things in life that we know we must focus on and that we know we can do more. To go that extra mile. Take that extra step. Whether we do this in a work scenario or for the benefit of self-improvement – making that next call, swimming that additional lap, staying awake just a little bit longer to reflect on the day that’s been and putting pen to paper. 

Is it not easy to do more of those things we love? Don’t we often overindulge in pleasure activities? It is curious to me as to why it is harder to apply this effort and energy to those practices and activities that truly will benefit me. Yet towards guilty pleasure there often seems very little resistance. So, let me apply this motivation to those things that seem less fruitful in the short-term but that which I know will benefit me more greatly in the long term. Let me do that little bit more. 

In good time and consistent practice, we will find a natural rhythm whereby the motivation to put a little bit more into everything becomes non-negotiable. And watch as these little things in time grow into something big.  

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi

To have something to aim towards is always a sure way of finding greater purpose in all that we do. Naturally, goals are achieved when we have a disciplined and focused approach to a process. Follow the process and what comes will come. And remove oneself from social affairs and those personal affairs that serve no purpose.

It is not to isolate oneself from society altogether or avoid personal engagement with others or healthy conversation but those affairs that are without substance. Many social affairs produce no benefit for the individual attending or others that are there. More to the topic of which affairs to avoid and which to include are those personal affairs that limit progress.

If we are not improving, we are not going anywhere. If it is goals we wish to accomplish then without improvement to ourselves, how are we ever to improve the process. Removing the self-indulgent behaviours is my priority. Not entirely but in most parts. What is truly necessary? Drink to quench thirst. Eat to satisfy hunger. Consume that which has a purpose or fits one’s current prospects. And much of which I am still very weak… yet aware.

We can avoid wasteful endeavours in efforts to please others. We can avoid wasteful endeavours in efforts to feel adored. We can leave the opportunity to skite or share just to be noticed, appreciate or find some level of self-gain. One will be appreciated not necessarily but what they possess, own, know, do or say but by the character they hold. And character is built in good time with good ritual, routine and process.

It does not mean we need to be idle or at ease. It does not mean we retreat into self-absorption. We must take good action. For what work we do internally will only improve character and virtue. It is then, with good character and virtue, that we may find true benefit to our life’s purpose – to be of service to others.

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi

A crowd is less likely to strengthen our character. It is more likely a hindrance. In letter 7 from Seneca, he talks about why avoiding mass crowds is advisable. We are enough as we are and, as individuals, life is better lived in following our own heart than the path of the status quo. If we venture into reasons why the crowd or status quo will discourage our true nature, is simply because often the crowd isn’t a true representation of our character.

As we meet the crowd, we also meet comparison to others. This may create strong and unnecessary judgement both inwardly and externally. We stumble into crowd beliefs that while may or may not agree upon, we attach to external beliefs out of some level of respect or obligation. A sense of belonging! This can be damaging for our character, particularly when external beliefs go against our inner values. Particularly when external “crowd” beliefs don’t allow room for new and varied beliefs. Character is built by those who maintain an open mind. A crowd can silence what is within and yet it is this that provides us with the most strength and joy in life.

I summarise, we must stick to our own path in life. The crowd is not a great guide but a deterrent. We are our best guide. The hero’s journey is an individual one. When taking action, we should do it from a place that we understand. When thinking, the thoughts must be our own and make sense – influenced by other thoughts, external and within, yet not owned by another. When we speak, we must speak from the heart. Keep it simple! Following the crowd or becoming lost in a tribe may only complicate our journey.

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi 

A goal for my return is to be satisfied with enough. To be okay with being driven by success but not disturbed by something not gained. For what in life can ever truly be gained other than experience and the building of virtue?

It is useful to remember how much one already has gained and achieved rather than wallowing in what we are without. And let us remember for whatever it is we think we own can easily be taken away. For whatever it is we think we deserve if we have not received it then how can we justify the notion that we truly deserve it. What will come to us, will come to us in good practice!

If we miss out or if what we desire is not attained move on to the next thing. Don’t be discouraged! Don’t rush too quickly either, it’s ok to take time between. It’s ok to pause, reflect, recharge and set a new aim. We need rest at the end of each day so we are better in the next.

If you are not yet where you want to be, try to be content with where you currently are. Find joy here. Find joy in who you are. It is a useful time also to be mindful of all that we consume. I find myself in constant consumption. Addicted by nature, I assume we can all be. To have control over what we put into our bodies and mind. To have control over our desires. It’s ok to let go. I wonder what more do I need and why in those times of heavy consumption do I think I need more?

Stop and be at peace with nothingness. Wealth depends on having a deeper understanding of what is essential and what is enough. And wealth is being at peace with the mind.

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi 

So, I shall bring back my morning routines. The ritual and study of philosophy. The routine of morning exercises, both physical and mental. The ritual of meditation. This will be a thing of both morning and night. What a better way to start and end the day that is aimed towards improving character and oneself.

The workday and daily activities can be draining, and this may sway one from getting into good practice, particularly in the evening. Think of the reward. Think of the reward both in the short-term and long-term. How does that look? An evening of thanking the body with some light exercise. An evening of thanking the mind through reflection and clearing one’s thoughts. As we pull apart daily thoughts and practice some gratitude how much greater will we rest at night? Reading a good book could be a welcomed treat for what is better than learning in life. Perhaps one of the greatest gifts as humans we have and, yet one of those things we often take for granted.

Self-indulging activities have a time and place, a reward of light entertainment to wind down I suppose is okay. Perhaps a little chocolate. A simple life. A life that has a focus on self-improvement. Not active. Not inactive. Not showing off. Not wasting away. A life that appreciates and grasps all that is possible and all that we could achieve. A life focused on building character. Not one focused on an accumulation of possessions or wasteful experiences that have no greater value of benefit now, or in time…

Daily Journals – Thoughts, Reflections & Meditations by Leigh Martinuzzi