Choose Your J.O.B – Live Your Life

(Revised – originally published Aug 21, 2014)

Is your job or career a passion? Does it provide you with enjoyment and happiness? Does it give your life meaning?

I challenge you to ask yourself this question. Answer it honestly. If the answer you receive isn’t pleasing perhaps its time to make a change.

It’s not about shame, embarrassment, or not being and having enough in life. It’s not about fitting in with the status quo or feeling as though you’re just another cog in the system. Personally, it’s about maximising the time we have. It’s about making the most of this life.

Don’t settle for average or partial fulfilment. Raise your hand, step up to the plate and start batting for what you genuinely want to do with your life.

I bring you this thought having just finished my morning walk. Exercise in the morning is a brilliant way to get the blood pumping and the body and mind into gear. It’s a fantastic time to gather thoughts and also take in the scenery. Almost like meditation.

It’s mid-winter, and the sun still hasn’t quite risen its head. It’s peaceful outside, hardly another soul out and the only noise I hear is the local bird life and distant boats.

On route I pass a jetty, I often stop and take in the ocean views and smells. Occasionally, I like to take a photo especially just when the sun is on the rise. Once I posted a picture on social media with the quote, “Your day doesn’t start until you do, so why wait?”

I’m drifting off topic, I know, but the quotes relevant to life. Life doesn’t start until we do, so why wait. If what we do with our every day isn’t bringing us deep joy and satisfaction while also taking us towards our dreams then what are we doing.

I wrote this post initially when my partner, Anita, was working some pretty long hours as an Assistant Manager for a large multi-national food retailer. Great company. I had also previously been an employee there. However, often in life priorities change. What once worked may no longer.

We now had a child. At the time she was two and a half. Besides Anita working some incredibly long hours on a rotating schedule I was also doing some crazy hours. It became harder and harder to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Work took priority, everything else in life slipped.

The retail industry is notorious for extending trading hours, rotating shifts and very inflexible working hours for staff. Not all, but most! Find balance in work and life can be difficult. Great for young people. Great for people who are passionate about retail. Great for those who are gritty and have dreams to hustle their way to upper management. But it became less and less ideal for what we wanted in life.

On a slight side note, what I disliked about some businesses is when they claim to have values that complement work-life balance and even promote this within their organisation culture yet don’t operate integrally with that in mind. Profits take precedence, and company values fall away. If you’re in a position of authority, don’t let this be what you allow. It’s damaging for culture and will impact the bottom line – and there is another way. Don’t claim it if you cannot adhere to it. It gives misleading expectations.

For our life and the direction we wanted to go, while the money was significant, I had to wonder – “what was life all about?” And as I pondered this thought, I knew there must be another path for us. And there was. Finding the right roads to take in life starts by asking appropriate questions.

It wasn’t only the inflexible working hours, but many other facets of her job continued to encroach on our lives. The continually changing nature of retail, of anything in life for that matter, can have its toll. It was causing additional stress in our lives and all we wanted at that time was to create a happy little family unit.

In all of our discussions about her work, I discovered something that at the time I found fascinating and useful. Women want to share their daily happenings regardless of whether or not it comes across as a call for help, advice or solutions. Men like to provide answers.

As a problem solver, I wanted to help. I’d ask her questions rather than just to listen. Please, men, listen! Provide a solution only when asked.

I began to probe by asking more questions.

“What would you do for the rest of your life for free?”

“What’s your passion?”

“What do you absolutely love to do?”

“What do you want to do?”

My intention, of course, was to get her thinking. Perhaps to influence her and open her mind to seeing that maybe there was another way. I was ignorant to believe that she didn’t already know or think about such things.

My reasons were selfish. I wanted Anita’s time back. For her doing the ten hour plus days starting from anywhere from 4 or 5 am and working up until as late as 11 pm, was not ideal. I wanted her home so we could connect more, have more time with our child and be the family we wanted to be.

I realise this is highly common in the modern age. Many couples experience the same thing with both parties working full-time meaning less time for family, children and doing the things they love. However, I see a shift is coming. A new approach to how we live our lives. And I believe it is here and possible for anyone.

If the 9 to 5 thing is your thing, great! If you love the grind, go for it. But, in the words of Steve Jobs – if you are waking up day after day not feeling the love for life, then make a change.

I believe we all have a choice. The ability to live a meaningful life. A life in which we do more of what we are passionate about doing. And when we achieve this not only is the quality of what we do enhanced but so too is the quality of our life. There is profound satisfaction, and it is as though life becomes effortless.

It is because when you do things you desire and are passionate about your energy levels are ecstatic, your satisfaction in what you do increases and your happiness is tenfold. It is why successful people are successful.

These ups and downs my partner was facing at work seemed never-ending. I get home from work, and while I cooked dinner, she’d sit on the bench and tell me all about it. I felt as though she wasn’t genuinely loved working there as much as she used to.

I am not her problem solver. I am more like an invisible piece of parchment used to help her get her feelings out. Similar to why I write daily in a diary. It allows us to reflect on internal thoughts and gives us satisfaction in any inner beliefs and perceptions we are carrying.

We can not rely on our external reality to change. If life isn’t happening as we wish it to, it is up to us to make the changes.
I continued to encourage Anita to do something different, something she enjoyed but nothing happened. However, the seed was planted, and eventually, she decided to change.

Change happens the moment we decide to change. Whether it’s giving up smoking, incorporating a healthier diet into our everyday life or taking up singing lessons, it all begins to happen when you decide – momentum shifts.

In one moment everything changes. Our inner planets align, and we begin to take a new direction. When thoughts shift, behaviours shift.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped”, Anthony Robbins.

Decisions are made primarily due to our emotional demands, and they exist to meet the fundamental human need, survival. It usually boils down to pain vs pleasure. When the satisfaction in what we do no longer outweighs the pain of doing it a more in-depth desire is born. In Anita’s case, the displeasure of work didn’t outweigh any extrinsic or intrinsic reward.

Such decisions are never easy. Anita loved her work. The monetary reward was favourable. And she enjoys hard work and having the level of responsibility that came with being a manager. On the money side of things, we were able to do many great things, like taking a holiday in Europe for five weeks.

These opportunities may not vanish, but it is hard to see the contrast between what is and now compared to the unknown future. Feature comforts of our lifestyle often keep us locked in, moving away from what we desire rather than toward it.

Many people suffer from the fear of missing out on opportunities that currently exist, instead of the excitement of growth and creating new experiences and opportunities. It is a matter of mindset and belief.

Trust in your intuition that the decision you’re making is a right one. If in doubt reflect some more and weigh up the pros and cons. If not, move with it. The law of attraction works best for people that believe in what they desire. What we focus on usually comes to fruition.

Choose your job. Again, when we love, enjoy and passionate about what we spend most of our life doing, it will have a flow-on effect. We will show up more fully, motivated and driven to excel. We will be more inclined to move in and out of states of flow. Your performance will improve and most importantly our well-being and happiness will increase.

Love what you do and do what you do with love. Live life with passion and purpose. I know of no other way. Over the last few years, Anita and I have made our interests priority, and in doing so, we are finding greater joy in life. Becuase when I am 60, 70, 80 or 100 years old there would be nothing worse than looking back at what I’ve done with regret. I want to be looking forward to all that I have to live for.

Asking & Rejection: 3 Cheers For “NO”

“If you aren’t getting rejected on a daily basis than your goals aren’t big enough” Chris Dixon

Miracles can come from rejection. It is no secret in my family that my mother’s body rejected an implanted IUD (Intrauterine Device) put there to prevent any more pregnancies, and yet, here I am. Miracle! Well, that’s debatable. My point is that in rejection amazing things can happen. And it depends heavily on one’s perspective.

I believe that one of the most significant hurdles we face in living a successful life is dealing with the human mind. Understanding our brain and how it influences our reality is no easy feat. However, if we put in the time and create greater awareness, we may better understand our story – the story that directs our thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, values, behaviours and our overall well-being. (more…)

Small Experiments and Testing

Written by Leigh Martinuzzi

I believe the quality of our life depends on the experiences we have. Yes, there are circumstances and situations external to our direct control that undoubtedly will have an impact on the condition of our life and the experiences that we are either fortunate or unfortunate enough to live through.

What if we could influence these experiences?

Shaping them in a way that allows us to receive greater benefits. Looking for the positives in any negatives and even avoiding or removing ourselves from experiences that we don’t feel fit. That is why small experiments and testing in everyday life is a marvellous practice. (more…)

Why We Make Poor Decisions

Tim Ferriss shares a line by one of his mentors in which I feel sets the tone for why this topic is an incredibly important one. His mentor said, “Easy decisions make for a hard life. Hard decisions make for an easy life.” It had me reflecting on some of the decisions and choices I’ve had to make in recent times.

Decision making is one of the most laborious processes I know. For somethings, I can make decisions with relative ease, and for others, it can be a daunting task. I’ve made some excellent choices in life, some inferior ones, and at times when there are tough decisions to make I avoid them like the plague. Why?

(more…)

12 Strategies to Increase Your Effectiveness

Written & Narrated by Leigh Martinuzzi – Originally Published 11.11.2014

How many times have you got to the end of the day and while lying in bed before you nod off you wonder, “shit, what did I really achieve today?”

Is it a common occurrence? What about the successful, do you think they have days like these? We all do, don’t we?

In this article, I am going to share my tips for becoming more efficient in everyday life. I am no guru, however, I believe one of my greatest strengths is my intense level of organisation and productivity and therefore I wish to share. (more…)

Routine strengthens my discipline. It improves how I operate daily and contributes most significantly to my overall effectiveness and success (define success as you wish). Mike Murdock said, “The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” Personally, I have found that as I’ve made positive improvements to lifestyle routines and reinforced them through a continued practice my overall happiness has increased.

Success leaves clues. If you look at the moments in life that you’ve most thrived and felt at your best, you can probably find yourself attributing it to an experience that was marked by healthy routine. Apparently, many experiences bring us joy or an elated sense of satisfaction yet they are usually associated with the specific activity. The strength of solid routine is that is can allow us to operate more efficiently in everyday life regardless of the environment, circumstance, action or adversity that we may face.

Recently I was asked to write about my morning routine that I thought would be good to share on my blog, too. Instead of copying and pasting the content here I will instead provide you with the link should you wish to have a read.

Here is that link – My Morning Routine: Leigh Martinuzzi 

How well you start anything is often an accurate indication of how well you finish it. If you start your day in a positive, healthy and energetic manner, you are likely to sleep at night satisfied by how well things went. It works for me and apparently many others.

Benjamin Spall is the man behind My Morning Routine, an independent online magazine that publishes a brand new, inspiring morning routine every Wednesday. If you are looking to adopt a new routine or even shake up your current one, then you’ll find a great deal of inspiration and insight here.

Ben has also been a featured guest on my podcast, episode 522. Ben has a pretty simple morning routine yet knows a heck of a lot about this subject. One piece of advice Ben shares is, experiment and trial various things but ultimately do what makes you the most effective based on how you want to live your life.

If you wish to check out more from Ben – visit his website – My Morning Routine.

In efforts to save me repeating myself, you can also listen to a recent solo tutorial I recorded, found here – 475 Daily Routines and Schedules. A Formula for Lifestyle Design.

The Common Grounds of Victimhood & Hate

Written & Narrated by Leigh Martinuzzi 

Belongingness – a deep and fundamental human emotion.

• Why? Survival and reproduction.

Humans are animals and as with many animal groups belonging to social groups provide protection. Although this is not as relevant nowadays because we can survive pretty well without being a part of a tribe, we still do desire to belong to a group or groups. The social bonds and relationships we form in our networks have been proven to have profound benefits to our overall wellbeing.

People that are lonely or don’t meet this need to belong will have difficulty forming a level of self-identity. Who we are plays a critical role in how we think, the decisions we make and how we behave. If we lack a solid sense of identity – who are we? It brings our level of significance, relevance and meaning in life to a lower level. This is not a good thing. (more…)

Where the Ego Thrive – Unhealthy Environments

I had a great conversation with Cy Wakeman recently. We discussed her book, No Ego. During the interview, I learnt a lot about the ego, specifically how the ego added to workplace drama reduced business effectiveness. As Cy suggests, the ego takes us down the path of bitching, moaning and whining (BMW).

In our chat, Cy also made an interesting comment that leads me to the thought that the ego thrives in unhealthy environments. In this article, I wish to discuss the ego and the habitats it thrives. I do so with hope to explain why healthy conditions that we create and live within are essential if we wish to reach our peak state of being in life. Grubby environments are not. (more…)

Prosperity

Written & narrated by Leigh Martinuzzi

Recently I had a great conversation with Joan Sotkin on the podcast on the topic of prosperity (check it out here). Having reflected on our discussion I felt it was a good opportunity to share my perspectives and open up a similar dialogue in your life. When you think of this word, prosperity, what are the first thoughts that come to mind?

Many of us would immediately associate prosperity with wealth and material possessions. However, I believe prosperity or to be prosperous in life is more than a measure of the dollars in your bank or the wealth accumulation you achieve. There are other elements that also indicate one’s prosperity including the likes of health and happiness. (more…)

11 Methods of Changing Habits

This article is an extension of an essay I wrote, A Thought About Changing Habits, originally posted on the 7th of August, 2014 however recently revised and improved. I included the 11 methods in the original post, however, to develop better readability and reduce the length I decided to split it in two. This is the second part.

It’s been three years since writing this article, and I can tell you since then my knowledge and thoughts have grown and shifted, as one would expect.

It was three years ago that I began my personal-transformation journey. I started to invest heavily in my self-improvement. If that sounds selfish, I can tell you it’s not. If it weren’t for my drive, discipline and consistency, the quality of my life would have continued on a downward spiral thus affecting all of my relationships. And healthy relationships are a fundamental Life Principle to all life. (more…)