Choose Your J.O.B – Live Your Life

(Revised – originally published Aug 21, 2014)

Is your job or career a passion? Does it provide you with enjoyment and happiness? Does it give your life meaning?

I challenge you to ask yourself this question. Answer it honestly. If the answer you receive isn’t pleasing perhaps its time to make a change.

It’s not about shame, embarrassment, or not being and having enough in life. It’s not about fitting in with the status quo or feeling as though you’re just another cog in the system. Personally, it’s about maximising the time we have. It’s about making the most of this life.

Don’t settle for average or partial fulfilment. Raise your hand, step up to the plate and start batting for what you genuinely want to do with your life.

I bring you this thought having just finished my morning walk. Exercise in the morning is a brilliant way to get the blood pumping and the body and mind into gear. It’s a fantastic time to gather thoughts and also take in the scenery. Almost like meditation.

It’s mid-winter, and the sun still hasn’t quite risen its head. It’s peaceful outside, hardly another soul out and the only noise I hear is the local bird life and distant boats.

On route I pass a jetty, I often stop and take in the ocean views and smells. Occasionally, I like to take a photo especially just when the sun is on the rise. Once I posted a picture on social media with the quote, “Your day doesn’t start until you do, so why wait?”

I’m drifting off topic, I know, but the quotes relevant to life. Life doesn’t start until we do, so why wait. If what we do with our every day isn’t bringing us deep joy and satisfaction while also taking us towards our dreams then what are we doing.

I wrote this post initially when my partner, Anita, was working some pretty long hours as an Assistant Manager for a large multi-national food retailer. Great company. I had also previously been an employee there. However, often in life priorities change. What once worked may no longer.

We now had a child. At the time she was two and a half. Besides Anita working some incredibly long hours on a rotating schedule I was also doing some crazy hours. It became harder and harder to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Work took priority, everything else in life slipped.

The retail industry is notorious for extending trading hours, rotating shifts and very inflexible working hours for staff. Not all, but most! Find balance in work and life can be difficult. Great for young people. Great for people who are passionate about retail. Great for those who are gritty and have dreams to hustle their way to upper management. But it became less and less ideal for what we wanted in life.

On a slight side note, what I disliked about some businesses is when they claim to have values that complement work-life balance and even promote this within their organisation culture yet don’t operate integrally with that in mind. Profits take precedence, and company values fall away. If you’re in a position of authority, don’t let this be what you allow. It’s damaging for culture and will impact the bottom line – and there is another way. Don’t claim it if you cannot adhere to it. It gives misleading expectations.

For our life and the direction we wanted to go, while the money was significant, I had to wonder – “what was life all about?” And as I pondered this thought, I knew there must be another path for us. And there was. Finding the right roads to take in life starts by asking appropriate questions.

It wasn’t only the inflexible working hours, but many other facets of her job continued to encroach on our lives. The continually changing nature of retail, of anything in life for that matter, can have its toll. It was causing additional stress in our lives and all we wanted at that time was to create a happy little family unit.

In all of our discussions about her work, I discovered something that at the time I found fascinating and useful. Women want to share their daily happenings regardless of whether or not it comes across as a call for help, advice or solutions. Men like to provide answers.

As a problem solver, I wanted to help. I’d ask her questions rather than just to listen. Please, men, listen! Provide a solution only when asked.

I began to probe by asking more questions.

“What would you do for the rest of your life for free?”

“What’s your passion?”

“What do you absolutely love to do?”

“What do you want to do?”

My intention, of course, was to get her thinking. Perhaps to influence her and open her mind to seeing that maybe there was another way. I was ignorant to believe that she didn’t already know or think about such things.

My reasons were selfish. I wanted Anita’s time back. For her doing the ten hour plus days starting from anywhere from 4 or 5 am and working up until as late as 11 pm, was not ideal. I wanted her home so we could connect more, have more time with our child and be the family we wanted to be.

I realise this is highly common in the modern age. Many couples experience the same thing with both parties working full-time meaning less time for family, children and doing the things they love. However, I see a shift is coming. A new approach to how we live our lives. And I believe it is here and possible for anyone.

If the 9 to 5 thing is your thing, great! If you love the grind, go for it. But, in the words of Steve Jobs – if you are waking up day after day not feeling the love for life, then make a change.

I believe we all have a choice. The ability to live a meaningful life. A life in which we do more of what we are passionate about doing. And when we achieve this not only is the quality of what we do enhanced but so too is the quality of our life. There is profound satisfaction, and it is as though life becomes effortless.

It is because when you do things you desire and are passionate about your energy levels are ecstatic, your satisfaction in what you do increases and your happiness is tenfold. It is why successful people are successful.

These ups and downs my partner was facing at work seemed never-ending. I get home from work, and while I cooked dinner, she’d sit on the bench and tell me all about it. I felt as though she wasn’t genuinely loved working there as much as she used to.

I am not her problem solver. I am more like an invisible piece of parchment used to help her get her feelings out. Similar to why I write daily in a diary. It allows us to reflect on internal thoughts and gives us satisfaction in any inner beliefs and perceptions we are carrying.

We can not rely on our external reality to change. If life isn’t happening as we wish it to, it is up to us to make the changes.
I continued to encourage Anita to do something different, something she enjoyed but nothing happened. However, the seed was planted, and eventually, she decided to change.

Change happens the moment we decide to change. Whether it’s giving up smoking, incorporating a healthier diet into our everyday life or taking up singing lessons, it all begins to happen when you decide – momentum shifts.

In one moment everything changes. Our inner planets align, and we begin to take a new direction. When thoughts shift, behaviours shift.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped”, Anthony Robbins.

Decisions are made primarily due to our emotional demands, and they exist to meet the fundamental human need, survival. It usually boils down to pain vs pleasure. When the satisfaction in what we do no longer outweighs the pain of doing it a more in-depth desire is born. In Anita’s case, the displeasure of work didn’t outweigh any extrinsic or intrinsic reward.

Such decisions are never easy. Anita loved her work. The monetary reward was favourable. And she enjoys hard work and having the level of responsibility that came with being a manager. On the money side of things, we were able to do many great things, like taking a holiday in Europe for five weeks.

These opportunities may not vanish, but it is hard to see the contrast between what is and now compared to the unknown future. Feature comforts of our lifestyle often keep us locked in, moving away from what we desire rather than toward it.

Many people suffer from the fear of missing out on opportunities that currently exist, instead of the excitement of growth and creating new experiences and opportunities. It is a matter of mindset and belief.

Trust in your intuition that the decision you’re making is a right one. If in doubt reflect some more and weigh up the pros and cons. If not, move with it. The law of attraction works best for people that believe in what they desire. What we focus on usually comes to fruition.

Choose your job. Again, when we love, enjoy and passionate about what we spend most of our life doing, it will have a flow-on effect. We will show up more fully, motivated and driven to excel. We will be more inclined to move in and out of states of flow. Your performance will improve and most importantly our well-being and happiness will increase.

Love what you do and do what you do with love. Live life with passion and purpose. I know of no other way. Over the last few years, Anita and I have made our interests priority, and in doing so, we are finding greater joy in life. Becuase when I am 60, 70, 80 or 100 years old there would be nothing worse than looking back at what I’ve done with regret. I want to be looking forward to all that I have to live for.