I want you to do me a favour and ask yourself this question, “Is my job or career my true passion or calling and does it provide me everyday enjoyment and happiness”. Answer this honestly to yourself. If you answer were not as pleasing as you would like than perhaps its time to make change. If you want to be just another cog in the system than great, if not put you hand up and stand out.

Here I am doing my early morning walk to get my blood pumping, choosing to walk rather than run just to take in the serenity and gather some thoughts. I find it rather peaceful, almost like mediation, especially while it’s still close to dark, mid winter, not many people out and the only noise I hear is the local bird life.

As I past the jetty I had to stop and take a photo, I often do, I just find it so pleasant at this time of the day. I was going to upload it with the caption “your day doesn’t start until you do, so why wait any longer’. Seemed inspiring to me.

I am totally off topic from where I am heading with this but it was on my march home that I really started to think about my partner and her job. It’s in these moments I find I get my most in-depth and clear thoughts on various things that are on my mind.

So here is the deal. Anita works 50 hours a week as an assistant manager for a large global food retailer. Great company, great products and all that but it just isn’t working for her, for us. We have a two and half year old and I work some crazy hours myself so its hard to get the time together and maintain a healthy household.

With the retail industry ever extending trading hours and so to hours of operation the flexibly of work/life in such an industry can have its toll. Random hours each day and never a consistent schedule each week make it tough to juggle the work-life balance. I would have to say coming from this industry there is no balance. What I really love is that these same businesses claim and promote healthy work-life balance. Unfortunately costs and profits are a bigger deal. There is another way.

Now I am sure this is not the only industry that takes advantage of hard working fools. And to be honest she gets paid well, probably slightly above the average salary in Australia. All good. But is that what life comes down to? There needs to be another way and we need to begin with questions.

For years now I have listened to her ups and downs at work. Some time she’s on fire things are going well and other day’s things just are not working. To many managers trying to come up with great ways to make the business more efficient yet without listening to the workers, they are actually moving away from the core business model to one which is less efficient, less cost effective, less beneficial for staff, and less beneficial for customers. Well that’s just the corporate world in my eyes.

So as a problem solver I have always tried to provide an answer, WRONG, women don’t wont this. Please just listen. Recently I have been asking her questions, questions like, “what would you do for free for the rest of your life”, “what’s your passion”, “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO”. The intention of course is to get her thinking that there is another way. The 9 to 5 grind, or in her case the 10 hour day starting anywhere from 5am and finishing up to 11pm any day of the week, is not the be all and end all. There is a shift; there is a new way of thinking.

You see I believe that we all can choose what we want to do and if we do what we are passionate about we will probably do it well. When people do things they like generally they do it well. Like my passion for cooking, this is one thing that provides me great satisfaction and I can do it well. I might add that I also find it effortless. It is because when you do things you desire and are passionate about your energy levels are ecstatic, your satisfaction in what you do increases your happiness and you can do it for hours with seemingly no effort. This is what successful people do.

So these ups and downs she faces are never ending. I get home from work and she’ll sit on the bench while I cook dinner and off she’d go. She’d tell me how much she loves the company, how much she loves upper management, how she enjoys the staff, how much she loves the changes they incorporate and so on; with a tone of sarcasm of course.

Oh and going back to my earlier thought of being her problem solver. Well I’m the fool! I am not to be. I am to be the notepaper, the parchment women use for getting their feelings out and letting go. I am sure it is their way in answering some internal questions and satisfying their inner beliefs and perceptions on the world at that particular time. So now I listen and absorb the ink.

After working years with the company it’s just never consistent. It will go well for a while then change comes in, a transfer happens, they start her in a new business were she has to do it all again. And particularly when you are training a team and suddenly they transfer you, you have to train another team. This can be exhausting.

So after years of problem solving on my behalf she has come to a point of change herself. It feels as though I have been trying to plant this seed for some time. Trying to encourage her to make change, choosing something she loves, something she will enjoy. Yet this seed has only just been planted. She, in a moment made a decision to make a change.

This is the case whenever we make a decision; it’s just in a moment that you decide to make it happen. Giving up smoking, healthier diet, take up singing lessons you name it, it all happens just like that. Everything at that moment aligns and a new direction is taken, behaviours and habits shift. A decision is usually meet due to our most basic instincts of satisfaction vs. pain. The satisfaction in what we do no longer outweighs the pain in doing it. In Anita’s case the monetary reward of working no longer outweighs the pain of lost time with her daughter.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped”, Anthony Robbins.

However, the decision is hard because she loves work and she’s good at it and there is the great earning potential, she loves money. This is by no means a greed thing she just loves money. The reason why she loves money is she loves to travel; she is a great saver and doesn’t have the need to spend much day to day so that she can go on epic adventures abroad. We just spent an amazing 5 weeks in Europe. The experience was worth every sent. And that’s a big why to earning money and now there is a fear if she leaves her job she will loose these opportunities to travel.

Another fear again to do with loosing her income is to do with bills. I may be wrong but women seem to have this as a focus and again it may be a mother instinct, as there seems to be a need to protect the family and ensure bills are being paid so we keep a roof over our head, so we are comfortable.

Now I may be part responsible for this as I am somewhat care free when it comes to bills and paying them. I realistically don’t really know what bills are due, what’s coming and I just don’t have a focus on it. I believe that money flows. As long as I show up, continue to improve myself and put my 100% into what I do, money will be the consequence and money will flow. I also believe that having this focus is the wrong focus. By having this constant worry about getting bills paid you naturally attract more attention to this area then suddenly it feels like you are getting more bills. The law of attraction at its best! What you focus on usually comes to fruition.

So there are competing fears here. The fear of missing time with her daughter versus the fear of not producing an income to help do the things she desires. There is a big part of this moving away from her comfort zone. This is how she has lived for the past 7 or 8 years. Hard change to swallow for many and the fear of the unknown often drives us to stick with what we know.

I sit and tell Anita that she is skilled that she has talents and she can step away from this and do almost anything she desires, and be good at it. I try comfort the decision by looking at worse case scenario. What is the worst that could come of you quitting this job? Lose of income, maybe we spend 10 grand of our savings, maybe we don’t save more for our next trip, maybe it gets to a point we need to sell an investment. At the end of all this we can always go back to what we were doing. We can also minimise the risk by correct planning, seeking the right advice and working as a team to make it work. Like the old saying ‘if you fail to plan you plan to fail’.

I also encourage her to choose something that she loves, something she will enjoy doing, something she is passionate about. To my earlier point most of what we love and are passion about we are good at; this is true almost 100% of the time. I love cooking and I rock at it, I love swimming and I am good at this too. You see when you truly like what your doing you give it your extra attention and focus so much so you usually excel at it. Once you start following a passion you can find ways to make a dime out of it and if you give it your all it will just naturally flow.

Look at the world in abundance and know that your inner potential is endless. We all can do whatever we desire. Go out and find it and keep searching for it. I have had endless career changes and I continue to search for things that I am passionate about. It is in this search opportunities keep presenting themselves often opening more doors. Do I make money out of all my passions, hell no, but I enjoy them and they bring me much joy. Could I make money from them, if I put my full focus into it, yes probably? My point for Anita is to find something that she will fall absolutely madly passionate about and the money thing will just come to her. She is skilled, there is abundance and with focus and determination she can make it happen as she wants.

On the search you need to continue to ask your self the question what do I love, what do I want to do, what do I enjoy. Ask yourself these questions every morning for weeks, for months, for years, decades. If you do this you will start finding your why. Once you find a passion and show up at your 100% you can then ask yourself the question how can I make it a career? Brainstorm every night, the answers will come.

Through the power of questioning we really can create deeper understanding, which consequently can provide us with direction and better ability to make decisions. If you have a crappy boss, ask yourself why and in doing so you may just learn ways as to how to create a better boss or find a new one. These negative situations can sometimes be our greatest teachers. If you’re seeking better fitness then first look at why you are and ask yourself how to get there. Once you find some answers the search begins. Similar to when finding your passion or a purpose, all that flows from these questions is then decision, discipline and determination and your world can change.

So Anita has now made a decision to make that change no further questions will be asked. Planning will be carried out. She will need to question the ‘how’ to it all. How can she still produce an income to fund her life? How can she do this and work the hours she desires? How can she minimise the risk of failing? So many questions to ask however it is through thorough planning and asking the right questions she will gain the confidence in her decision to change.

I say go out there and do the same. If you face similar thoughts and feelings in your current path you too can make change happen. Start with asking why, why do you feel this way and then in answering that ask yourself what would make me feel better, what would be a better alternative. Do not be afraid to look at your biggest dreams and passions as a way of your new path. I think we all are often intimidated by our deepest desires in fear of failure. We may compare ourselves to others of have great success in that field and then judge our own ability in doing the same. Forget all this, do not compare, and focus on you and you only in times of change. You do not need approval! You don’t need to be as good as the next! You certainly don’t need to get concerned about failure! If something is holding you back, if there are obstacles in the way, ask why and I am sure you will find the answer.

Live your life with full purpose and passion and don’t let fears, formalities of society and others ever stop you. Because when you are 60, 80 or 100 years old and you still haven’t done what it is you desire or missed opportunities because something minor held you back you may have some regret.