Our Greatest Joy is in Our Sorrow Unmasked

Written by Leigh Martinuzzi

Our greatest joy is in our sorrow unmasked… then there is silence. I sit still. Deep in contemplation. This statement brings me slight confusion, curiosity and delight.

“Our greatest joy is in our sorrow unmasked!”

To assess such things I usually find it beneficial to understand the intricacies of this statement. What is joy? What is sorrow? And why would we mask either, our joy or our sorrow?

Joy – a feeling of great pleasure or happiness.

Sorrow – a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

Reviewing these definitions it seems rather counterintuitive that joy could be found in sorrow. And on the surface, without going to deep, maybe more unlikely that sorrow can be found within joy.

Reasoning would have us almost immediately shut down such thoughts or dialogue to explore these notions. And then I wonder, what is reasonable? My logic, thoughts and perceptions. The juxtaposition of these two elements, putting them side by side, may allow us to compare them yet what seems sensible and logical may not be. And then, perhaps only logic or reasoning can be used to dig deeper.

Unmasked, separated, divorced may we then view things from a different angle. All juxtapositions, thoughts, words, elements can only be truly measured when we break attached meanings or logic apart. Dissecting logic with reasoning.

If we step back far enough, from a distance, and look at an object that is actually miles apart can suddenly look so close. Just as two opposites, joy and sorrow, at first glance seem obviously different when we move closer, look a little deeper, we may just find things are only separated by the limitations of our own logic.

There are limits. A lack of curiosity. The disinterest in understanding. A perceived threat that we face if we discover something new. Something that challenges what we once believed. Maybe our identify. Maybe complacency. Choosing logic to keep up status. Unable to remove our masks. It is sometimes easier to accept what we think we know than to dive in further.

Calm and chaos. Hot and cold. Beauty and ugliness. Good and bad. Young and old. Weakness and strength. Love and hate. Joy and sorrow.

If we unmasked the elderly could we find youth?

Could something that appears ugly when uncovered shine hints of beauty?

What if a weakness was indeed a strength or a strength a weakness?

Is there sometimes good in bad?

Have you ever experienced calmness be found in chaos?

Have you witnessed love forming our of hate? I am sure you’ve witnessed hate resulting from what was once love.

Could then joy be found within our deepest sorrow and sorrow in joy?

I’d say yes. The duality of life often has us within some level of turmoil. There are pleasures and there are pains. We are consumed by our desires to help move us towards pleasure. We choose escapism with the wish to avoid pain. A survival instinct that is misdirected by modern nova litres of life.

Immediate satisfaction is sought more eagerly than delaying our gratification. If there is negativity surrounding us it is hard to see the positive. When in sorrow how could we find joy? How could joy exist?
Physical pain and mental angst can often be followed by physical pleasure and mental relief.

Have you ever experienced pain after receiving something pleasurable? Or vice versa?

A mother gives birth to her child and endures what has been described as the most pain anyone could survive. And not long after the image alters – the glow of a mother filled with joy while she holds her newborn child.

After running for an hour I am elated with adrenaline, the runners high kicked in after the halfway point. There was some pain, however, the joy I experience after each run has me going back for more. Hooked, addicted, ready for pain so I can experience the pleasure.

Then on too many occasions, I have chosen in favour of pleasures that while in the short-term seemed like a good idea was only followed by suffering and regret. Oh, how these guilty pleasures draw us in even against our best efforts to exert will-power.

I then think about times of recent and of past that I have been in sorrow. I suffer from depression from time to time. I think many of us do to some level. It’s hard for me to admit this as I want to be seen as strong. At these times I am often blinded by my inward worldview. Narrow in my train of though. And yet in reflection, there is something in these moments that resonate with joy. What is it?

A sense of freedom. A sense of feeling alive. Knowing that I am experiencing life at all levels of complexity.

Seeing, now that I skimmed past another series of events that lead me down to some dark places that at the time were uncomfortable, I found I was able to rise again. Like a flower or plant that has been wilted by the hot Sun finding strength once again after a sprinkling of rain and nightly rest – reinvigorated. Life mastered!

Joy masked by sorrow.

There have been times when things in my life have been moving forward in amazing positive direction. I was achieving certain milestones.

Accomplishing well on levels that I am measured by. A measure I put upon myself. A measure of comparison? A measure that I use to base my identity and judge my success. Able to partake in pleasurable activities previously unavailable. Oh, the joy!

Then one day I wake up. I feel bound and yet I was sure I should feel more freedom. What was going on? Was this joy? I felt restricted. Limited to what I could do next, where I could go. I become trapped from the measures of success to a point there was little freedom at all. Perhaps just a perspective.

Sorrow masked by joy.

A rose bush without its flower seems rather straggly and lacking substance. Filled with thorns one may initially disregard this as just another ugly bush not worthy of a place in the garden. And then we see it bloom. A beautiful flower full of delicious fragrance. There is beauty in ugliness. There is joy in sorrow.

If we let our sorrow remain only seen as sorrow it will always feel that way. On the other hand, if we open up our perspective and turn off the blinkers that blind our view perhaps we will see that when we unmask our sorrow we will find joy. When we unmask our level of reasoning and our world perspectives created via self-talk may we see joy? Or perhaps joy can be experienced in different manners.

And when we remove the mask what if we discover something truly unique. Something we’ve never experienced before. A glimpse of the joy that might be much greater than any pleasurable experience we’ve had before. A taste of life that brings us closer to who we are. Offering us a new direction that might just ignite the quality of our life. What if?

Those things that bring me sorrow are often a signal of that which I should embrace on a higher level. I fear to lose my loved ones – I should spend more joyful moments with them every chance I get. I feel terribly sad when I see other people suffering, looking as though they are sad. I should use any opportunity I can to help.

I personally feel down when I have no purpose and lack of motivation to keep moving forward. So I write and speak with an attempt to inspire and encourage others to keep asking questions. Encourage others to seek answers to unblock the beauty in their lives.

I have been negligent to my health even at times to a level that would seem self-destructive and so I try to push myself a little bit every day towards greater health.

I have been surrounded by beautiful intelligent people my entire life and yet have questioned my own beauty and intelligence. I find joy in learning.

I am saddened by many things however I find happiness in the pursuit.

What does the sorrow you experience in life highlight to you? How could you find the joy? What if you took off the masks you wear – what else could you see? Endless potential.

Leave your thoughts, comments and questions below. Reach out directly by email of social media. Peace, Passion & Purpose. 

Further Reading and Resources 

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United Stat

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.