In Failing We Strengthen

To fail is to be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal. Failing is tough. Life is tough! If we gave up every time we failed as we grew up how far would we get?

Every time we fail we actually strengthen. Every time we fall we learn how to get up again. Every time we fail we learn, we grow, we progress and in that we strengthen.

In learning to walk we fall many times. As an adult we walk without effort or conscious thought. A mindless action taken for granted.

In my youth I had so many failed attempts at speaking publicly that I not only feared public speaking but I avoided it like the plague. I’m now passionate about it. My past failings could have resulted in unrealised passion.

Failing is often what makes masters become masters. Those of us who don’t give up in pursuit of what we desire, in the pursuit of making this life the best damn life we can, win.

Failure brings shame, vulnerability, and a decreased sense of self-worth. Those that accept this and push through the boundaries of limitations, pain and hardship grow in strength and resilience. What use to seem like the impossible slowly becomes a walk in the park.

We are all brilliant in our own unique ways. Beautifully ugly and imperfect. Not nearly as important as we think we are but often better than we allow ourselves to be. We all have a special something that urges to shine. We all have desires. There is always room to improve and reach new and greater potential. Do we believe this?

Some are so bound by their ego that they consider they are fully formed and perfect in every way. Others are so tarnished by their inner self critic that they struggle to move forward. Both will limit our potential, both will hold us back. What is holding me back?

Am I taking the necessary action to better myself? Am I aware of the ego that drives me down unauthentic paths in life or the self-critic that stops me from venturing new paths? Objectively it is fear of failure that stops most of us in action and when we failure we fear to try again.

I don’t think that we should fear understanding and improving the Self?

We are conditioned to believe that failure is bad, almost sinful. At school we are graded on our efforts as either a pass or fail. School grades much like any reward or punishment will influence our behaviours. School is not entirely to blame. Society promotes winners and looks down at failures – as do our parents, peers and enemies. This reinforces our inner desire to keep trying despite failure.

Failing is hard to accept. It’s hard to swallow. It can make us feel insignificant. If can be embarrassing. It can drain light from our soul like a wound that bleeds. It can knock us out cold. When was the point that we stopped trying? When was the day we stopped pursuing our dreams and desires? When was the we stopped living?

The more I fail the more appreciation I have for failure. Every time I get insight as to why. Every time I learn. Each time I uncover a bit more of my weaknesses, my flaws, my character, my claws. The ego is mellowed in failure and the inner self critic is overcome in action. Our true Self is realised in failure, the key to fully living this experience well.

Like a muscle that grows under resistance we strengthen in failure and our ability to push forward in life. I have come to realise the more I fail in progress of the life I desire the more determined I become.

Failure is not to be shunned or frowned upon. It needs to be supported. This doesn’t mean that we should encourage failure or walk into failure but rather to respect failure and not use it as a reason to give up.

Whenever we get knocked down and lack the energy to get back up we need to remind ourselves of the why. Why is this important to me? Why does this matter? If it is important if it truly does matter we will find exactly what we need, when we need it, to keep on going. And in failing we can strengthen.

Further Reading and Resources 

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.