So this morning I am lying in bed awake, it’s early, not unusual to be awake at about 3 or 4am for me, and I started to think about fears. I think it came to me while my 3-year-old daughter was lying beside me and she did this big twitch.

The fear of falling, the only one true fear any of us have. It is inbuilt into our system from birth and appears strange but is indeed instinctual.

When you lie in bed and doze off your visuals change leading to a feeling of lose of balance that in turn makes you jump or twitch.

Many studies have been carried out ranging from testing the natural reflex mechanisms in babies; to the sudden jolt you sometimes get just after falling to sleep, to dream states and fear of heights.

I guess in short to protect ourselves from falling we protect ourselves from facing injury or even death.

I have developed a fear of heights, which is secondary to my fear of falling, but this I believe is to do with my visual perception and the need to control balance.

When standing on a cliff or a bridge at height my vision, due to the sudden change in depth perception somehow throws me off and messes with my balance.

The loss of balance and control give me that fear of falling I am sure. Mind you I have gone bungy jumping and skydiving and never had an issue before until more recent years.

Perhaps my eyesight has changed or perhaps my fear of injury or death has become more important to me as I get older. Young people always seem so much more fearless.

There are other fears along these lines that perhaps many of us don’t think about and one I found interesting was the fear of starvation. When we use to hunt for food we would gorge ourselves because who would know when the next meal would come. Some say this can be partly why some of us have eating disorders today.

However I digress and will get back to the purpose of my post. And that is what are our own personal fears and how can we help overcome them.

So I started to think, ‘what are my biggest fears’? I couldn’t really pinpoint them with ease so I tried to come up with my top 10. Ten things that freak me out make me hold back from doing certain things in life.

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” D. Thompson
This is a challenge and I would encourage you to try it. Write down your ten fears and be truthful without creating any just for the sake of it.

Mine are fear of death, fear of being unhealthy, fear of failure, fear of public speaking, fear of heights (fear of falling), fear of crawling insects (mainly cockroaches), fear of loneliness, fear of abandonment, fear of the dark, and fear of …………………well can’t think of another one right now- but not a bad start.

These are certainly some common fears many of us will share but there are certainly plenty of others

Fear of rejections, commitment, being touched, open spaces, closed spaces, dogs, change, dentists, intimacy, flying, being alone, spiders, we could go on.

What are yours? Try writing down 10 now.

It’s important in life to be self-aware. Knowing you pressure points, knowing what holds you back and in this way we can develop strategies and solutions on how to overcome these barriers and obstacles.

I believe that sometimes what you fear is actually the thing you should be chasing. Overcoming the fear is what will bring you greater success in life.

There is no faster more sure way to self-improvement and self-confidence than stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Most of our fears are likely to exist due to our feeling of lack of control when in those situations. Like when at a height I must feel I have lack of control over my balance. When speaking in front of large audiences I lack control of how the crowd may react.

I certainly cannot control how those creeping little cockroaches are going to move next.

So the challenge is to force ourselves into situations we fear. If you fear rejection try challenging yourself to face rejection everyday. Start small and as you go aim higher.

Ask for a discount on your coffee tomorrow. Ask a girl for her phone number. Ask the boss for the weekend off. Remember you have no control over how others may respond only how you will react.

A ‘no’ means not right now. A ‘no’ doesn’t mean to offend you and who you are. If you get a ‘no’, if you are rejected now it doesn’t change your situation anyway. And what if you got a ‘yes’ how great would that be.

With your list of fears the next step is to right down action steps you can take to overcome them. Right down some small steps and some larger steps. Keep thinking about it until you come up with 5 to 10 actions you can take.
Now go out there tomorrow and tick off one of those action steps. You don’t need to act on them all just on one or two of them. Focus on the ones that mean the most to you and go for it.

“Thinking will not overcome fear, action will.” W Clement Stone

I really believe that our fears are in some way our calling, our way forward. They are areas in our lives that must be overcome and experienced as a means to unlock doors and open up hallways to opportunities.

Certainly if this is not the case the truth is that in facing our fears we will without a doubt grow ourselves beyond what we could have ever imagined.

I just thought of number 10. I have a fear of not achieving in life of getting old without being able to leave a mark. This fear drives me to keep trying, to persevere in light of challenge, it pushes me never to give up regardless of the struggles. It is certainly a fear that I appreciate having.