Love and Belonging

“I will love you through everything. Can you do yourself the same honor?”
― Scott Stabile

Love is a powerful energy that lives within us all. It is revealed through actions that act as the social glue that binds humanity together and allows us to share, contribute, protect, understand, collaborate, evolve and progress – united! Its purpose is to connect life, not separate it, and in this state, all life serves a better chance of survival.

Love has many definitions, and I don’t believe it’s all flowers, romance and sex. It goes deeper than this. Love needn’t only occur between two people. Love can be exerted to many, like the love a mother has for all her children or the love a leader has for his people. It doesn’t exist only for those who receive love. Love can be shared with someone that has done wrong by us, even to someone who has murdered.

In an interview with Scott Stable, the author of Big Love, he would suggest love is an ability to live with a wide-open heart regardless of the pleasure or pain one has or is experiencing. It is found in compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and authenticity. Love appears to be a selfish pursuit yet is more about being selfless. To put others first before Self.

It is a reflection of our attitude and how we feel towards other beings and life. I found it was put best as being described as an emotional attachment, not only towards your wife or child but to all sentient beings. The word attachment is critical. Love is the fabric that holds life as one. Nothing is fully independent. Everything relies on everything else. Love is the blanket that brings warmth, energy, embrace and nourishment to all living things, and with that, we can continue to progress.

Belongingness is a fundamental human need. In the hierarchy of needs, Abraham Maslow stated that the need to belong was a significant source of human motivation. It is said to be a feeling that resides within all human nature. It is an underlying motivation of all life fit for a purpose. When we belong, we are better able to meet our ultimate goal, to pass on our genes and survive.

Belonging to a group brings us comfort, security and peace. It nourishes both our mental and physical states of health. It assists in meeting other fundamental needs also found within Maslow’s hierarchy of needs including our physiological and safety requirements. A sense of belongingness is challenging to create without first achieving a satisfactory level of these needs and yet when met we strengthen both respectively. In numbers, we, collaboratively, increase both our physiological and safety requirements.

As for our mental state of health and well-being, the key to a long and happy life, Maslow suggests that having a sense of belonging provides a breeding ground for improving self-esteem and self-actualisation. This is necessary to achieve self-mastery, accomplish our highest dreams and desires, to not only survive but to thrive. A sense of belongingness will help us recognise our life’s full potential.

Love and belongingness. They go hand in hand. Love is what creates the opportunities to belong. A selfish pursuit? I believe it’s a fine line. Love will take us individually and collectively a lot further than its opposite emotions ever could – hate. Hate is a tool of separation. You versus me. Us versus them. Hate acts as the hands that tear apart the social fabric and limits our progress. It divides life rather than unites it.

Hate appears to be a tool to protect and strengthen our position of belongingness, but it does not. Hate breeds hate just as love breeds love. External hate will only allow hatred to grow within, individually and collectively. Life is dependent on everyone and everything, and we want to build, encourage and expand on this. We do that with love. Love is the energy that allows us to belong and from there we can continue to live, learn, understand, forgive, and progress.

Leave your thoughts, comments and questions below. Reach out directly by email of social media. Peace, Passion & Purpose.

Further Reading and Resources 

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

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The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.