Our Love with Our Phones
Written by Leigh Martinuzzi
Are the figures true? Do we now spend on average 5 hours a day on our mobile phones?
If like me, you are shocked to hear these figures, I don’t blame you. I remember reading similar stats on the average amount of TV time. In adding it up, you will quickly find that it equates to approximately four or five working weeks. That’s a bloody lot of time!
Imagine what else we could be doing with our time. Imagine if you had four additional weeks a year to do whatever you wished. Would you spend it on your phone? Probably not. I wouldn’t! Of course, this is time accumulated over an entire day. We wouldn’t possibly spend 5 hours back-to-back on our phone, or maybe we would.
I am slightly curious about how the researchers collected these statistics. Either case, the reality is we do spend a lot of time on our phones, too much! Look around you. Everyone is hooked to their screens. Is it too much? That depends on the individual perspective. Is it addictive? Many studies suggest it is. What I’d like to review is why we love our phones and what toll this has on our lives.
Humans are designed to avoid pain and seek pleasure. It is an indication of what is right or not so good for our survival. This reason drives our behaviours. The error in our design is that beyond having our fundamental needs met, we then crave new pleasures. Like the pleasure, we receive from scrolling for hours on the phone that however has no benefit to our survival.
So why the confusion?
One fundamental human need is belongingness. We need to be around people. Evolutionary, being around others and a part of a tribe has raised the chance of our survival. There is also an elementary need to bond and connect with one another – it brings a feeling of safety to our lives.
The other fact is that life is reliant on relationships and co-dependency with others and other things. Everything co-exists with everything else. A lack of belongingness leads to difficulty in Self-identification. Who we are and what’s our role or position in this world.
It is said to be a fundamental need because it is found in all cultures across the globe. And if not meet the consequences can be dire. It leads to mental health issues including loneliness, depression, social anxiety, low self-esteem and lack of significance.
None of us desires this. And so, we attach ourselves to anything that gives us a sense of belonging – hence our addiction to our mobile phone, social media, online forums and groups. Perhaps we can find our place in the world by spending 5 hours a day on our phone. But can we? I believe we cannot.
I believe the sense of belonging we feel by scrolling Facebook and other such sites is only a perceived state of belonging. Switch it off and see what happens. Likely nothing! Belongingness benefits most greatly in face to face contact. Technology has stolen us away from such opportunities to connect.
The other element of this addiction is the need to escape the dissatisfying qualities of our otherwise bland lives. We avoid the pain and unease of everyday life by instant pleasure fixes. The thought of jumping online to see if someone has liked our Instagram post is an excellent dopamine release. At the moment it feels good, but it doesn’t last. Thankfully tech giants know how to keep us hooked.
The more we escape online to avoid the shit in our lives the less chance we have to create real interactions. Spending more time online means we have less opportunity to connect with others offline. Meaning is found by having a clear identity. By connecting with others on a regular basis we feel loved, we thrive, we find meaning.
Our phones are an obstacle, not an opportunity, to escape the potential belonging and to live a meaningful life. That is the downside of the love we have for our phones. It’s time to disconnect.
It’s best to switch off notifications, turn the phone on silent and use it only as a tool in which it was designed. And instead of mindlessly scrolling, reflect, ponder, meditate. Find brilliance in silence. Find peace without distraction. Read and learn something new. Find a way to go out and connect more with others.
If you’d like a quick and easy read on this topic, pick up a copy of Catherine Price’s book, How to Break Up with Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life
, here.Further Reading and Resources
TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading
Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y
Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.
The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.
Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain
Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate
The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.
The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.
Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.
Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.
Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.
Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.”
Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.
The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.
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Thanks for the post, great tips and information which is useful for all..
https://blog.mindvalley.com/self-improvement-podcasts/