Are You Moving Away or Moving Towards?

Written by Leigh Martinuzzi 

At the core, we are biological beings who are driven by pleasure and pain. The fundamental human motivation is survival, what motivates us to fulfil this is to move away from what may be as harmful or limiting and move towards what enhances or nourishes this need. What I’ve learnt is that most of us can either be more strongly influenced by and therefore act upon what we wish to avoid or what we desire to move towards. What type are you, away or towards?

After doing some research on this topic, I feel that I have a towards personality. As for my wife, I think she’s an away type. It is not a representation of good or bad, rather it represents why people have different motivations. Ultimately it will affect the way we operate.

If anything I may seem wishful, naive and even inconsiderate. At the same time, I may feel that my wife’s attitudes are lazy, uninspiring, and even negative. Neither of these statements is correct or valid however it highlights why there is a good intent to understand these core motivators. If we can better understand each other, we will be better able collaborate and journey forward together.

There is without a doubt more behind what motivates us in life then this field of research indicates, however, with that in mind, these two in very distinct categories may shed some insight into how to improve the relationships in our life. Whether that be with our loved ones, colleagues, clients or friends.

Are you a moving away type? People classed in this category are motivated more heavily by what they wish to avoid, prevent or fix. They move away from what the dislike of their life or Self. For example, let’s pick a pretty universal desire – weight loss or fitness. People in this category want to move away from being overweight, not being able to walk up stairs without puffing, or being stared at when out in public. They wish to prevent any further pain that they receive from their current state or condition.

People of this nature tend to be good problem solvers. Because they wish to avoid any further suffering or pain, they will do what it takes to mitigate risks that might contribute to such things. Those of us who live in the space of moving towards might see “away” people as procrastinators or mostly negative. When you understand their reasons, it’s easier to appreciate why they behave as they do.

Are you a towards type? Goals motivate those of us in this category. It doesn’t mean to say that those in the away category don’t have goals, they do, it’s just that their intentions are directed by what they wish to avoid not what they desire. Those who move towards are driven by what they want to achieve and gain in life. They optimistically move towards pleasures and tend to disregard potential consequences. I can see why my partner may see me as somewhat wishful or carefree.

People of this nature know what they want and are ready to do what it takes to get it. I feel they aren’t as deterred by possible negative futures. I would also suggest, reflecting on my personal experience, toward folk take more unnecessary risk, therefore find themselves often in too deep. We take action and because we may disregard or worry less about consequences we put ourselves in front of danger more often than not.

Neither moving toward or moving away is good or bad. It is probably, like most thing in life, favourable to have a balance. Both have their merits and flaws. For example, one who is driven to avoid adversity may become complacent. Instead of taking a risk or accepting new challenges they may opt for comfort. In this state, we are provided with a greater sense of security and certainty. It is excellent if we wish to avoid pain yet can also limit more grand opportunities in life.

Away types may find themselves procrastinating more and missing out on a new opportunity that may assist one to move further away from all that they don’t want. In procrastination, there is also a lot of wasted time and mental energy. The final things I’d point out is that what we focus is likely what we get. For example, you might not want to smoke but because all you think about is smoking, a result of nicotine addiction, it may start to feel like smoking is a good idea. In this situation, the trick is to think about the positive behaviours that you’d prefer to be doing and let that occupy one’s mind.

For those in the towards camp, the obvious issue is that you’ll be more risk-averse. Driven by goals and moving towards all that we want we tend to turn a blind eye to risk. Go, go, go! If we are always taking action we may miss the details and even sometimes find ourselves in a little bit of a pickle. By looking at the negative futures or situations, we may seek to avoid unnecessary problems.

Personally, motivated by what I want to move towards I find that I am somewhat impatient. I am inclined to just do what it takes to make things happen. I rush things. I may make more mistakes. I can be easily distracted by greater ventures. And I often find myself changing direction or moving towards other pleasures too quickly before allowing the benefits of the current path to be realised.

I’d encourage you to reflect on your tendencies. Are you moving away or a towards type? I am sure you can highlight some other positive and negative patterns of behaviour for each type.

In a more significant state of self-awareness, we are better able to interact with others. To meet the fundamental need for survival, we depend heavily on the quality of our relationships. If we can determine what motivates others, we can adapt our style to collaboratively move in the same direction. Regardless of our preferences, we all desire a common goal. I believe that goal is happiness.

Further Reading and Resources 

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Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

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Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.

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