Part 1: The Change Game – To Accept or Resist

“Nothing is constant except for change. Everything is in constant change.”

Change is one of those things that many people steer clear of. Humans find it difficult to accept change and to manage change. The universe is in constant change. Our bodies are in constant change. Nothing remains unchanged.

Change may occur due to external factors or it may be created from within. I know the pain that change can cause yet I find myself continually moving myself towards it. I sometimes do not know why.

If living a successful life is simply to be happy then why do things that make me uncomfortable? You may disagree with this statement. I am not entirely sure that I agree with it. However, if we are meant to be in happiness then why is change a good thing?

I am not sure if continual happiness is possible but I do think that living on a scale that weighs more favourably towards happiness is.

When we experience change we move into shock. Depending on the type of change this might mean our minds and thoughts struggle or perhaps it is our bodies biology that freak out. If you have lived or travelled in a foreign country, you know what a change in diet can do to your system. I have many great “poo” stories from my travels.

Any time we change our existing environment we will experience some level of change. The great news is that you’re not alone. The universe is always evolving and changing. Being that we are all connected to the universe, simply sub-systems and essentially made of the same matter, we evolve with it. Change cannot be avoided only resisted.

If our environment, either externally or internally, faces change, it is our natural instincts to try fight it. This is a survival mechanism. Our bodies are in constant recovery and existence to protect us from illness. Hence the sudden bout of the runs when you introduce foreign foods into your system, your body dispels them quickly as it feels you are trying to poison yourself.

Your body exists to keep you alive. The better you treat your body the better it can protect you and the longer you are likely to remain alive. Our bodies biology is highly influenced by our minds.

When faced with external change, change in one’s environment, it is usually our mind that is trying to protect us. All external factors influence your internal being. There is not one part of us that isn’t or hasn’t been influenced by external stimuli.

The human mind has so many wonderful potentials yet it is also a very fragile space and easily influenced. No matter what we consume or digest, either physically or mentally, it is how our mind that perceives what is and this ultimately effects our state of being.

We can try resist in attempt to avoid change yet the path of resistance is not always an easy one. If you’ve ever tried to build some muscle you will know the pain of resistance. This is why we try avoid change, because change is painful.

“Pain is not permanent, it will pass.”

What I love about pain is that it, too, is not permanent. Pain will always pass, even the biggest pain you may ever felt it will move on. Even if you believe that it still slightly exists, it doesn’t, it is not the same pain- just experienced in new form.

Sometimes I think I enjoy pain and while that sounds psychotic to an outsider I wonder what other explanation there is. I always find myself searching for more change. I open myself to this world and take full responsibility for any pain that may be received.

In honesty, I often find myself also reverting from time to time, back to old ways. I believe old ways and familiar grounds help hide the pain that becomes revealed from change.

Our biology can be strengthened by change and so can the mind. If you fight the change, stay seated in one spot – wrapped in a bubble, you will certainly enhance your self protection from change that may be presented and available to you, at least for a little while.

The problem I see with this is that when change does come, and it will, you will be less capable of dealing with the pain from the change that you experience. At any given point in life the bubble might pop, the earth will shift, things are not constant, the only true constant is change.

“It is outside our comfort zone that true growth occurs”, I don’t for a minute feel you will be unfamiliar with this quote. Who it originates from eludes me and for which I feel is not necessary. It is the potency of this statement that matters. It carries incredible truth.

If you want to continually grow and evolve you need to step over those comfort boundaries that exist in your life. You will feel pain in the process but as you strengthen your mind and body, the pain will be less felt or certainly more easy to deal with.

As your comfort zone increases there will always be new boundaries to push beyond, there will always be more change to experience. If you keep practicing the art of change you will never stop improving your life and both your perception and understanding of your reality.

If you are happy where you are than I can only applaud you. My only warning is to not let the mind trick you into believing it is real happiness if you are truly not. This is your mind protecting you. You will know how happy you are by how you feel within.

If there exists a level of burn, friction or negative emotions that occasional raise their head for breath than perhaps there is some further exploration to pursue. If you rely heavily on your external reality as a means of happiness, like consumption of any kind, then I suggest change is necessary.

When you truly connect with your inner awareness through constant self-reflection you will have this urge to move towards change. It is often this deeper self awareness that often frightens people away from what they should be facing.

Don’t be afraid of what you see, encourage acceptance not resistance, you will find this easier.

Here is a little poem I wrote just for the occasion:

With acceptance you will seek improvement, with resistance you will remove flow.

With acceptance you will learn and grow, with resistance you will remain so.

With acceptance you will reduce pain, with resistance you will increase pain.

With acceptance you will take responsibility, with resistance you will place external blame.

With acceptance you will live happier, with resistance you will not.

With acceptance you will move forward, with resistance you will rot.

In the 21st century we are becoming increasingly more self aware. We are embracing change as a means of survival, as opposed to avoiding it. I feel as though as a society we no longer believe that things will remain constant. We are seeing change everyday happening rapidly. If we don’t embrace change, we will fall behind.

I see three options for us all. The first is those that will accept yet do nothing. They will be left for dead, they will struggle, life will be hard. Accepting and doing nothing is resistance in a quiet form. Steer clear of this approach.

The second is that we accept but form conspiracy. They will revolt, trying to influence change from their perception. Whilst you may set out at first in attempt to more deeply understand, in conspiracy, like in fear mongering, this is not a cooperative or positive approach towards change. Tread carefully here and do it for the right reasons not to satisfy your ego or form cults to make you feel better about your own perceived reality.

And the third is that we accept and embrace change. These folk will see the world as it is, seeking understanding, forming inner perceptions yet actively participating in the changing world. Less likely to try influence change externally but rather try to lead change from within. Where you fit can be decided only by you.

“Be the change you want to see.” Dalai Lama

It is wiser to accept change than resist. If you can understand and accept, you can then work on techniques to better handle change when it occurs. Practice change and you will master change.

If you wish to influence others in change than lead this example. Show them the benefits of change. Show them by your own actions and behaviours the positive effects of change. Remembering that people will only change or even accept change if they choose to first.

As I often say, it starts with you!

I appreciate change and sometimes deal with it very well and yet sometimes still find myself handling it poorly. In the second part to this blog I am going to share with you my advice on what it takes to manage, handle and encourage change. Please have a read.

I only actively participate in change because of my deeper understanding and awareness of myself. I am still searching for more meaning in this life and it is only through change that I continue to learn and grow. This is not for everyone and to some it may be a wasteful use of time and energy. For me it is perfect use.

Without running rapidly through this life like the flow of water down a narrow river I wish to be present in the moment. I don’t wish to hide or run from what it is that I am fearful, I wish only to move towards it, forever searching.

My primary goal is greater freedom and a life lived without regrets. To do this I continually encourage change because it is here I believe I experience true growth taking me one step at a time closer towards this goal.