I am clouded with these negative feelings that are causing unnecessary emotions. Not that I am nauseous or ill but I could almost describe it like that. It feels unpleasant. It’s cluttering my mind and distracting me from what is important.

There is no anger or hate and neither do I suffer from depression or unhappiness. I don’t feel like crying although when I sit here in reflection I kind of feel like that might actually help. I have trouble describing how I feel both to you and to myself. It exists, yet I cannot totally understand why.

This is why I reflect. I could let these feelings drag me down with them. I may get pulled in deeper however I have learnt that this doesn’t help resolve the situation but only helps promote it. Further strengthening it, like fuel to a fire.

If I can become better aware of why then perhaps I can help reduce the heat. I don’t know if I can put out the fire or if indeed this is essential. I don’t want to throw a blanket over the fire in efforts to numb the pain because I have come to understand that depriving your senses is a sure way to live less blissfully in each and every moment.

To become aware one must reflect. One must travel within and assess the cause of suffering. Emotions are caused by certain stimulus and when these emotions arise, whether negative or positive, they force creation of thought.

As far as I know it are our thoughts that create our reality.

I have also learnt that we are not attached to our thoughts nor are we to our emotions. We also cannot accept full responsibility for our emotions – they exist and can come about without any effort on our own part. However, we can have control.

If we are not attached, then it is best to realise that you do not own your emotions. Neither do your emotions own you – unless you allow them to. If you let them control you, you let them control your thoughts and in that process you allow them to control your reality.

The pain I feel now is not real unless I allow it to be. The emotions are present and that I cannot deny. The suffering that I receive will be dependant entirely on my attachment to the emotions and the allowance of them to determine my thoughts. I seek reflection, awareness, understanding and continuance.

Like sun that reflects light of shining metal so must I reflect on what stimulus has had affect on the creating these emotions that have come about. In reflection I may not discover all the answers or the truth as to why my emotions have come about. I may generate answers I perceive to be the truth, right or wrong, in reflection I create greater awareness. I feel that in reflection I will be able to better remove myself from the potential attachment to such emotions.

This is awareness. It helps create knowledge and understanding of the current situation of what is and the related perceived fact. The emotions will not be removed through reflection and awareness they will continue to exist and rise towards thought.

However, it is in greater understanding and awareness of why they exist and where they may have risen from, in regards to the facts and events of the situation, that we will be better able to control our thoughts. Controlled thought leads to a controlled mind and with a stable mind can we truly become wise. I believe it is in wisdom that we live in greater peace.

A reminder that fact is merely what you make fact to be. How can it be the ultimate truth if indeed emotions are caused by factors external to our control? I suggest that things outside our control we may never know the full truth about but only draw out assumptions and perceptions based on what we see or feel.

Our senses don’t and cannot trick the mind as to what is real because what they feel is what they feel. We can use our mind to trick our senses though. What then is actually felt can be interpreted and perceived as one’s mind may wish. This I believe is why its often better to be guided by your intuition than your logic as intuition is not easily swayed.

If fact is based on what is seen and observed than how can we truly understand how an emotion has been created. We can not visually see cause and affect of an emotion, we may only feel it and assume to actualise it but in most part it is out of our control. Our best efforts are simply to observe the emotions through reflection and awareness. Then how we actualise it through our thought will result in greater outcomes – ones resulting in minimal suffering.

We have travelled deep enough and I can only hope this allows you to better remove yourself from times that may put you to trial. It certainly helps me. Sometimes the deeper I dig the more at ease I feel with life in its entirety.

Why do we take things so seriously?

If I reflect on my current situation, which I might add in writing about it I already feel more at ease, I realise that there is not great harm other than the harm I place on myself. This harm will stem from attaching myself to the emotion and holding onto it for too long. As I do this it will affect and distort my thought negatively. This thought will direct my actions.

If there is no real harm, injury or major injustice that is being served perhaps its not necessary to take the emotion that exists too seriously. In my situation I really feel that is the case. I think that for all the numerous emotions that affect us daily we can simple allow them to pass as effortlessly as the were welcomed in.

I can not subside my emotions and nor would I give advise to do so, this may only create more pain. In effort to mask an emotion great energy is required and this energy could better be spent elsewhere. You will find also that once your energy levels have been depleted the emotion will arise again and this time with greater force leading to more intense levels of suffering.

“Energy that is exerted that doesn’t result in favourable outcomes causes suffering.”

If you can observe your emotions rise into your thoughts and gain control over those thoughts, you will be better in position to continue on in the direction of life you wish to travel not a direction that your emotions tempt you to travel.

As your emotions rise and your thoughts are managed will you notice the emotion suddenly move on as if to dissipate into thin air. This is what happens with all emotions. The only linger if we allow them to do so. Like bacteria thriving in perfect conditions so will our emotions if we don’t allow them to move on.

Pain is not permeant – it will always pass. The better we can become aware the quicker it may pass.

Here is what helps me to reflect and become more aware. Recently I have found that by using these techniques, I am less likely infected by unnecessary emotions, unnecessary suffering and wasted energy. I can exist with greater calmness, peace, contentment and purpose.

I reflect.

Peace, passion and purpose….

Leigh Martinuzzi