A Kick-Ass Year
Written by Leigh Martinuzzi – Originally published 09.01.2015
Resolutions, ha, what resolutions?
Each year January the first is often a monumental day for many of us. A year of change. A year of growth and amazing things to come. A game changer. New Year resolutions are created. Decisions have been made. Now, we’ve got to execute the plan, follow through and keep the promise we’ve made to ourselves. Accountability!
The first of January is here, we step up to plate and try to hit home runs. I could count on one hand the success home runs I’ve hit. We struggle to make it third base. Second base is tough enough. Resolutions fade. Next year will be different, but how?
New Year’s resolutions are a great time to set a goal and realign our life plans. However, why should the first of January carry so much weight? Why is it so special? The truth is, when seeking change, there is no better time than now!
Setting a date to start something new, to shake things up, helps us mentally prepare for what’s to come. It puts us in the right mindset so that we are geared up and ready for any pain, discomfort, or adversity that may have to endure. With more confidence and courage, we are better able to step into our fears and face the uncertainty that comes.
With all those festive activities out of the way. The New Year is an indication of a fresh start, choosing the first of January makes a great deal of sense. Why try to make healthy changes at Christmas? It’s the time we indulge a little or a lot.
There is never a perfect time to start anything. The best time is when you are ready. When you can no longer bear the pain to wait any longer. No matter when you decide to stop drinking, the first of January or another date in time, I can ensure you that there are always going to be other events just around the corner that will become a good reason not to start your sobriety plans just yet.
There is never a better time than now!
I am not a guru of setting resolutions and sticking to them. I’ve failed many times. I am not an expert change make, although I believe that with a growth mindset, I wish to think I enjoy embracing change.
Change is difficult. It may take many attempts to see the results. Staring something new and then never seeing the completion sucks! Perseverance and patience will win. Good things will come to those that move forward with good intent. Hold onto your dreams and desires. Here are sixteen rules for making change sweet.
16 Rules to Making Change Sweet
1 GRATITUDE
“Don’t dwell on what you don’t have but rather be grateful for what you do have.”
There is always so much to be thankful for. It’s important to appreciate all that we have in life and to be mindful of this in moments of joy and in moments of adversity. Focusing on the good, will serve us better than getting upset with what we don’t have.
Sometimes it is the little things we forget. The sweet sea breezes as you walk by the bay. The satisfaction I get by a nice bowl of rice and miso soup. The freedom to talk to anyone, anytime with a click of a button. How lucky we are to have a cold shower on a warm summers day. We are truly privileged so enjoy all that you have.
2 JUST DO IT
In the words of Nike, ‘Just do it!’
I find as long as you make an effort to achieve something in your day however great or small, you will rest easier each night.
Setting too many “goals” for the year can be a sure way to overwhelm yourself. You may be setting yourself up to fail. The same applies to each day, week and month. Set a few goals and make them the priorities. Once completed you can add later.
In getting started it’s better to start small rather than biting off more than you can chew. Trying to tackle too much from the get-go may lead to burnout. Habit formation precedes excellence. Begin gradually, get in the routine and build momentum from there.
Why try run a marathon if you never run 1km before? The trick to taking action is to set realistic sustainable goals. Starting from where you are now, not where you desire to be. And absolutely everything we want in life comes by taking action so ‘just do it’.
3 GO FIRST
It’s not always easy to go first. However, like all things, with practice, anything is achievable.
Do you ever find yourself sitting there next to someone and you just really just want to say hello? Guess what, he or she is probably thinking the same thing. Yet, everyone often waits for someone else to go first.
The fear of rejection or embarrassment is what usually holds us back from initiating conversation. We must find the courage to step outside our comfort zone. When we do we look back and realise that it’s not so hard.
If someone doesn’t wish to talk, if you receive a ‘no’, not to worry. There are plenty of others in this world waiting for someone to talk to. Rejection is not a good reason to stop trying. Rejection is not personal and should not be received as such. One ‘no’ is one step closer to a ‘yes’ and what might end up in a beautiful, rich conversation.
This is a powerful tool in building relationships and relationships help us reach our goals. Nothing in life is done alone. And when it comes to doing what must be done to move forward in life, don’t wait for others. Go first!
4 SMALL ACTS OF KINDNESS
Try every day to do some act of kindness. Help the old lady with her groceries. Give the neighbours some vegetables from the garden. Say thanks to those you are grateful and to those you appreciate. Perhaps give someone a compliment.
For all the people we appreciate, assist, and help in our day to day life will fill us with joy. ‘Contribution’ is an enhancing life principle. The more we do the greater we feel, the greater we feel the better we can give back. It is in our DNA. The universe favours those that act with such good intentions. Those who serve are rewarded significantly in life.
“What comes around goes around.”
5 LEARN AND GROW
Your greatest asset without any doubt in this world is your mind. This is one area so many of us learn to neglect. We become so hypnotised by all the chaos that we forget to nourish and nurture the mind.
Education does not end at school. In my opinion, education really begins after school. School is about teaching values and morals and some basic fundamental skills. It’s also about educating us as to how to operate, get a job and function in society.
Self-improvement is my goal every day. This is by far that biggest game changer anyone could possibly do to immediately improve his or her life. Read, listen to audio, go to seminars, get mentors, coaches, and study. Soak it all up. If you what to kick-ass in life keep learning. If you want to achieve resolutions goals or make a change, leaning and having a growth-mindset is key. Growth is an essential life principle.
6 HAVE FUN
We get so busy and tied up in all the adult bullshit that happens in our life that sometimes we forget how to really live. Are we focusing on what’s truly important in life?
There will always be stuff going on that doesn’t make us entirely happy. It may upset us, make us angry or really just hold us back from doing what it is we desire. In the gentle words of Taylor Swift, “Shake it off”.
Sometimes in life, we have to do things that we don’t really like or want to. In toughness, suck it up! However, amongst everything we love, hate or remain unmoved by it’s ok to have a laugh, goof around and play a little. For fuck sake, don’t take yourself or anything else in the world too seriously.
I am grateful to have two young children. I get to relearn how to play. Kids are said to laugh around 300 times per day and adults about five times a day. There’s a challenge. No matter what you have to do, desire to do or don’t do, there are always ways to integrate a playful attitude and it will no doubt make the days more joyful. With play, we will find the process of change much more joyful.
7 ACT WITH INTEGRITY
Be honest to yourself and everyone around you. Acting with integrity is a truly pure way to live. You’ll be more satisfied as a result. Do as you say you will do. This will lead to greater satisfaction in life as opposed to living in conflict or being inconsistent with what you believe, say and do.
Doing what you feel to be right every day is the surest way to live with greater contentment. It’s easy to be dishonest and tell small untruths however it will never make you entirely comfortable. It creates internal conflict that will make you feel not so great and others will notice it.
We all have values and beliefs and it is important that we live in congruence with these. If not our lives are disjointed. When making a change and setting goals to stay true to yourself.
8 SACRIFICE FOR GAIN
The modern world is full of immediate satisfaction and pleasure-seeking desires. Many of us have forgotten the importance of sacrifice now for future gain.
This doesn’t mean we have to live a shit life now, foreboding the joy while waiting for good things to come in the future. We can play, we can have fun we can enjoy this moment too. No, sacrifice for gain is all about delayed gratification and being comfortable with all that is now.
When making a change, there is going to be some pain to begin. If you really want to achieve something it may mean giving up something now or missing out of a few modern-day privileges.
Who really likes working out at the gym. Lifting weights are painful. There could be many other joyful activities one could be doing. However, we work out because we want to improve our physical health. We want growth.
Good things come to those who are patient. Good things come to those who work hard. Nothing comes for free. If you’re looking to achieve new goals or change a few things you might have to forfeit a few things today as you strive for greater things to come.
9 CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE, GO ABOVE & BEYOND
This is a great practice and something we can all do regardless of what is going on in our lives. I learnt this a while ago and haven’t looked back. It’s amazing what doors open and what opportunities come your way when you carry yourself with a good positive attitude whilst always going above and beyond and giving everything your best shot.
People appreciate it and are drawn to you, as are great opportunities.
If you want the car park right out the front of the venue you’ve got to have the right intention and how up knowing what you want. With this attitude, you’ll get that park more often than not.
If you want to be noticed for your efforts then put in the effort, go above and beyond. Others will want to help out. The effort will not go unnoticed.
And although we may not always feel up to it, when we do put in that bit extra and remain positive it actually makes us feel better. This is a sure fire way to reach those goals and make any change you desire.
10 PRACTICE FORGIVENESS AND BE KIND
Forgiveness is tough. Forgiving others for some wrongdoing is never easy. Forgiveness is a muscle that we have to train. As my mentor, David T.S. Wood used to say, holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Being kind and forgiving to oneself is often harder. If you are looking to change you will be challenged. You will fail sometimes. This won’t make you feel good. You’ll beat yourself up. And what this actually causes is more angst, stress, tension, anger and hate and even depression.
Forgiveness is about your health and personal well-being. We will never get things right straight away. Perfection doesn’t exist. If you fall, stand up, dust yourself of and keep moving forward. Accept your failings and use them as lessons to help you learn, grow and constantly improve.
Don’t let an inability to forgive yourself limit your progress towards change.
11 DREAM BIG
Never stop dreaming and don’t settle for what is average. Dreaming is good. It feels great to have dreams. Having dreams to chase in life inspire passion. They drive us further than what we would have thought possible. They will force you to rise with enthusiasm, passion and energy each day.
Most of us dream but along the journey in life, our dreams get squashed. Fuck what other people think about your dreams. Hold on to them tightly. And don’t be afraid to follow them. Most of the people who have had a great impact in the world, both past and present, have dreamed big. Don’t limit how big your dreams can be.
However, all dreams require action. Don’t be a dreamer without action. Start from where you are, be realistic with your potential but aim big. Dreams are possible and require hard work and patience.
12 PLAN AND EXECUTE
If you want to move towards your dream make sure you plan and execute. Goals are best achieved with a plan. Change is easier managed with a plan. Execution of a well laid out plan is more likely to result in favourable outcomes. All your dreams, desires and goals are worthless without a plan and the execution of that plan.
Know the destination and work backwards. What actions do you need to take to get there? What are the possible obstacles? What are the tools that you’ll need? Make it simple. Make it fail proof. Keep the plan nearby. Measure, monitor and adjust as necessary. And whatever you do keep moving forward.
13 SAY YES MORE
Say yes more. We hear the word ‘no’ so much growing up we develop an automatic ‘no’ response when we receive an offer. However, in response to most invitations, it is better for us to say yes first. If we say no we don’t welcome new opportunities, opportunities that might assist us on our journey forward. We can always say no later.
14 FIND HEALTHY TRIGGERS AND HABITS
Do things that get you going. Do things that pump you up. Do things that get you in the mood. If you feel a little unmotivated there are certain things that may help.
Starting the day out with exercise is a healthy habit and as it gets the blood flowing waking up our organs and stimulating the brain, it will put us in the right state of mind to have a kick-ass day.
Triggers don’t have to be as extreme as exercise either. Try having a cold shower in igniting the body. A piece of chocolate to really sink into reading that book. Listening to a bit of heavy rock to get you fired up.
Sometimes the things we have to do to proceed towards our goals or make change leave us feeling a little bit uninspired. Good triggers will help put you in the right headspace to jumping in.
15 CELEBRATE THE WINS
It is important for all the hard work you do that you step back and celebrate the wins. Be grateful for what you have done even if what you set out to achieve hasn’t quite been met yet. Appreciate the milestones that you achieve, they are worth a little pat on the back.
Don’t get stuck on being too busy that you forget to celebrate life. Happiness is found in the process of life and those little celebrations can help to keep driving us forward. Life will flash by so I think it’s important we enjoy the good things along the way.
One of the top regrets of the dying is that they wished they hadn’t worked so hard. All work and no play is not a recipe for success.
16 DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT
Life is to be lived.
At school, all I wanted was to be an adult and get a job to earn some money. I thought this desire would bring me freedom. Now, as an adult, I want to be more like children because they appear freer than I often feel.
It has taken me the best part of 30 years to come to the realisation that this life is meant for living. Benjamin Franklin once said, “most people die at 25 but are buried at 75”.
I love hard work but what does it all mean if you cannot enjoy the most important things in life, family, love, friends, learning, giving, caring and taking care of your health. No matter what change you seek or goals you aim to achieve, life ultimately boils down to how it makes you feel and the impact this has on others around you. Do what feels right!
CLOSING
My final thought is that change is often avoided yet is inevitable. We can either be the inspiration for the change we desire, or we can expect the change that will be bought upon us. Personally, I’d rather be at the forefront of the change I wish to see in my life rather than be at the will of unwelcomed or undesirable change.
Leave your thoughts, comments and questions below. Reach out directly by email of social media. Peace, Passion & Purpose.
Further Reading and Resources
TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading
Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y
Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.
The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.
Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain
Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate
The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.
The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.
Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.
Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.
Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.
Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.”
Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.
The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.
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