Sharing Is Expressive – Venting is Limiting

“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” Don Miguel Ruiz

It is important to share how we are feeling. It’s a method of healing and self-expression. However, when we “vent” it may exacerbate the situation, intensify any emotions that exist, and limit any potential for resolution. Venting seems to work with the ego that is guided by untruth, poor fact and assumption. In this approach, we may find ourselves dealing with a higher level of suffering.

We’ve all heard about the benefits associated with positive affirmations. Dan McGinn, the author of Psyched Up, talks about the power in performance by using a technique called reappraisal. The positive stories we tell ourselves help booster confidence and reduce anxiety.

Venting is a focus on the negative aspects of our current state or condition. It is more about being dissatisfied or ingrateful about how external circumstances are perceived to affect our current or future well-being. To vent doesn’t merely involve kicking a chair or screaming at the top of our lungs. Venting evolves into inner dialogue that is negative and often false.

It becomes less about sharing how we feel and more about bitching, moaning and whining (BMW). At least that is how Cy Wakeman would explain venting. In an interview I did with Cy she said venting only promotes the ego. And if the ego if not controlled it can take us down paths we do not wish to walk. Venting assists it to do that.

The ego is a story that we cling to, especially if we are not aware, that will lead us further into a state that is not conducive to success, performance or a heightened sense of well-being. Sharing is healing, expressive and beautiful. Venting is about twisting the false reality we are obsessed with further out of control.

Cy’s thoughts were that we should not vent but share. In sharing, we can express our feelings and such expression is good for healing. Self-expression is useful for moving forward with our lives.

Venting, on the other hand, forces us to attach to a story that is not real, negative and often blown out of proportion. It takes the focus away from any lessons that may arise from an awareness of our feelings to focus on inner narration that is false and misleading.

Next time you want to vent or are told to vent, stop yourself. Instead, seek to understand why you feel that way. Share your feelings either in self-reflection and thought or with another, explore its truth and depth. Then in understanding perhaps you can avoid future occurrences and more importantly you can move on with life in a more positive and happy state.